


The Domestic Lives of Regina and Emma (and Henry and Lucy) Swan-Mills

by readingstarr13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readingstarr13/pseuds/readingstarr13
Summary: These chapters are direct follow ups to "Two Mothers Meet in a Park." I honestly don't think you'll enjoy them as much if you haven't read my (only) other work yet. We now have teenaged Henry and Lucy!! (I don't know if you can tell but I'm excited.)





	1. Having Teenagers is Hard but Fun

**Author's Note:**

> So I was playing around with some thoughts in my head and I ended up writing these chapters and ‘scenes’ a while ago (I think like over a year and a half at this point). But I’ve been reading some good fluffy Swan Queen lately. So I've added a little more to them and decided to finally post them. And here you go. Let me know what you think....if you feel like it. Thanks and hope you enjoy!

“I can’t believe it’s time to teach them to drive already,” Regina said with a sigh to her wife.

“I know, babe,” Emma responded. “Hey maybe we can get our moms or Dad to go out with them to teach them the basics instead of us?” she suggested warily.

“No, dear. It’s our responsibility. And apparently I promised Henry that I would gladly do so at some point in time,” Regina said, shaking her head.

“Well… We’ll just have to deal then,” Emma said as she pulled her wife a little bit closer to her on their couch. “Where are they by the way?”

“Oh, I believe they’re studying at Nick and Ava’s,” Regina said as she relaxed into Emma’s loving embrace. 

“Again? They’re always over there. How they think that we still don’t know that they’re dating them is kind of ridiculous at this point,” Emma stated.

“It’s cute though,” Regina chuckled. “And actually kind of funny because I’m pretty sure that they haven’t told each other that they’re dating the brother and sister of their best friends. But, no, I don’t understand how they thought they could hide that from you, detective,” Regina said with a smirk as she changed the channel.

“Hey! I was so watching that! Wait...no!! How is that even possible?! They tell each other everything,” Emma got out before she started laughing.

“Well we had finished dinner the other night when you were working late on that case with Jane. Henry got a text message and his face got really red before he quickly excused himself and left the table. When I asked him who it was as he was walking out he said Ava without really thinking before he quickly corrected himself and said Nick instead. When I turned back to the table Luce said she thought that was weird because she had texted Nick earlier and had still not gotten a response from him. So she figured he forgot his phone at home again when he’d gone to work. I pretty much put it together right then. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud and didn’t even reprimand Luce for being on her phone while at the dinner table.” 

“That’s hilarious. Oh teenagers. So lost in their own little worlds. Wait, babe, but I don’t understand how you knew that Nick and Luce are dating though...?”

“Oh those two I happened to catch kissing each other goodbye one day at the library,” Regina stated simply. She put the remote down when she finally found something that she wanted to watch. “I guess he had come in to visit her before her shift was over.”

“Why would she think she wouldn’t get caught by someone working there, least of all her mom?”

“She was reshelving some books and I just happened to be cutting through the stacks to get back to the desk after helping a patron. I guess it was just bad luck for her that I saw them.”

“We should so play games with them somehow. Now that we have this knowledge.”

“Okay,” Regina chuckled in response to Emma’s suggestion. “I’ll leave the game playing up to you, dear.”

“Awesome! I’ll take that as a yes then,” Emma said with a smirk. “Is this the right episode of Outlander, babe?”

“I think so. I don’t know. Actually I’m not really sure. Not gonna lie, I’m only half watching this season until they get Claire and Jamie back together.”

“Don’t worry, they will. There’s no show if those two aren’t together, right? I’m still surprised that you didn’t read all of those original books.”

“Well historical fiction is not exactly one of my favorite genres, Em.”

“And let’s be honest, you know I’m never going to sit down and try to even attempt to read those long ass books. Nope. I’ll just stick to my fanfic,” Emma said with a grin.

“Have you read any good fanfic about them…?” Regina asked, giving her wife a sidelong glance. 

“You know me, babe. What do you think?”

Regina only chuckled as they watched the opening titles for their show.

The next afternoon, Henry pushed open his bedroom door still decorated with his name in felt letters but now also surrounded by the names of his favorite bands with a long, loud huff before immediately dropping his book bag to the floor, walking over to his bed and flopping down on it face first with his arms and legs spread wide. He opened his eyes only when he heard a text alert. Reaching down to his back pocket, he opened the message to find a question from his best friend, Nick, inquiring about the whereabouts of his sister. 

“Hey, Hen,” Lucy said as she walked into his room announcing her presence but foregoing to knock as he had repeatedly asked her to do.

“Speak of the devil,” he said mostly to himself but not in a low enough tone to hide it from his sister. 

“What does that mean?” she asked as she flopped down on his bed in the empty space between his feet. 

“Nothing. Nick just texted me to see where you were,” Henry responded without moving from his position.

“What’s up, bro? Why are you so tired?”

“I--” Henry took a deep breath before continuing. “I tried to ask Ava out on a date afterschool and she turned me down. But then she also said that she’d be with Tyler like all this weekend. So like is she blowing me off or does she not like me as much as I do?? I don’t know anymore!” He lifted and stretched out all of his limbs before dramatically dropping them back down on the bed and sighing loudly.

“So...was there an actual question in there or did I miss that part? You’re doing that thing where you ramble like Ma does.”

“I guess I’m my mother’s son,” he stated as he sat up on his forearms and looked back at a grinning Lucy. 

“Alright, let me get this straight. You asked your girlfriend and my best friend, by the way, out on a date this weekend and when she turned you down to practice for her recital with her partner you got really bummed about it…? Am I getting this right?”

“Yeah, I guess. She didn’t tell me any of that though. Man, I totally forgot she has that huge recital thing coming up! I can’t believe I reacted like that now!! Ugh!!!” Henry yelled as she threw his head back down onto his bed. 

“K. Well now that that’s figured out I’m gonna go get a snack and see what kind of leftovers we have for dinner,” Lucy stated as she stood up.

“Okay. I’ll be down after I text Ava that I’m sorry,” Henry said, sitting up again and looking at his phone. “Hey, Luce, why was Nick texting me asking where you were?” he called out as she left his room.

“Oh I don’t know. Just let him know I’m home now though. Thanks, bro!” Lucy answered from the hallway.

“Why are we eating alone without our mothers tonight again?” Henry asked as he placed his cup back onto the coffee table.

“Dude, use a coaster! We’re not even supposed to be eating out here,” Lucy admonished as she slid a coaster towards her brother’s clearly sweating cup. “Ma is finishing up a case with Aunt Jane and Mom has that new program tonight.”

“She’s the director. I don’t know why she has to personally do stuff like that anymore. Isn’t that like one of the many perks of being in charge?”

“No, dummy. And she loves doing that sort of stuff. She’s lived here all her life. She knows like everybody so it’s not even like work to her. And she said this one’s only lasting for like six weeks or something. So she’ll only be home late for that long. Don’t you listen when they talk? Oh wait, I forgot. When a girl tells you something about what’s going on in their life you completely forget about it,” Lucy says with a chuckle.

“Oh ha ha. Real funny, Luce. At least I have a girlfriend,” Henry responded.

“Bro, we’ve been over many times. I’m not into girls. At least not right now. That can always change in the future though,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulder.

“Good to know, hon. Just know that I’ll be right here for you with any questions you may have about dating men or women in that future,” Emma stated as she walked up behind the couch.

Both of her children jumped in shock at suddenly hearing her voice. “Jesus!” “Ma, my God!” Henry and Lucy reacted simultaneously.

“Hello, my loves. You guys are so lucky it was me who walked in that door and not your Mom,” Emma said as she walked around to join them on the couch. “What’s for dinner anyway?”

“Just some leftover lasagna Mom left us,” Lucy answered. “There would be a piece for you too if Henry didn’t have seconds,” she stated pointedly.

“It’s cool. I actually grabbed something with Jane before she dropped me off. You two should probably eat fast though. What time is your mother supposed to be home from her new program anyway?”

“I think about 8:30ish. After she locks up the library and everything. Hmmm...maybe I was listening when she told us about it,” Henry said, surprising himself.

“Okay,” Emma chuckled. “So what are we watching?”

“We’re still finishing the second season of True Detective,” Lucy answered before taking a big bite of her dinner. 

“Am I a bad mother that I’m letting you watch this right now?” Emma asked to no one in particular. 

“I don’t think so. Hey at least it’s not like True Blood or Game of Thrones though right?” Henry asked. 

“Well, yeah I guess it’s not as bad as those...wait how do know about those shows and their--adult themes?” Emma asked her son directly.

“All of his friends watch Game of Thrones. So he pretty much knows everything that’s happening?” Lucy answered lightly for her brother.

Henry didn’t respond but instead turned pink and looked straight ahead.

“Is Nick one of these friends?” Emma asked. 

“No, Mom. Me and Nick are like the only ones who don’t watch it, I swear,” Henry replied hurriedly.

“It’s okay, kid. I trust you. And Nick for that matter. So, got any good plans for this weekend?” she asked innocently.

“No.” “Not really.” 

“No...dates or anything with anyone I might know…?” 

“Well I asked Ava if she wanted to do something with me but she’s gonna be busy rehearing for her recital. So I’ll probably just hang out with Nick or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay. So Ava may be busy but you and Nick don’t have any plans to get together this weekend, sweetheart?”

“What?! No! Why would I have plans with him??” Lucy replied quickly.

“Yeah, Ma, why would my sister have any exclusive plans with my best friend. Although he did send me this weird text earlier asking me where she was…?” Henry said.

“Oh really…? What could that possibly mean?” Emma asked, hardly able to contain her smirk as she turned more toward her daughter.

“Ma, I’m not sure what you’re implying but--”

Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing upon hearing the door being opened signalling Regina’s return home. Even though it was only 8:12 who else could it be since they were all there already? Luckily, they had a few moments to react since Regina continued to enter their home not at all as stealthily as Emma did.

“Quick, get to the kitchen!!” Emma whisper-yelled. Not missing a beat, her children immediately got up and ran into the kitchen with their plates and cups, trying not to spill anything in their haste. Emma was too tired to get up to greet her wife, though, as she heard her approaching the living room. 

“Hello, dear,” Regina said with a smile. She leaned over the back of the couch to give Emma a kiss on the top of her head. “How was you day, love? Did you and Jane successfully wrap up that case?” she asked as she walked around to sit beside her wife. 

“Hey, babe. Yeah it was good. It’s all wrapped up. So you’re home earlier than we thought you’d be,” Emma said, trying her hardest not to ramble. 

“Oh I am?” Regina asked with a smirk. “Well I didn’t have a lot to do before I locked the doors this evening. So is that the reason why our children went sprinting into the kitchen with their dinners then?”

“What, no. They were in there the whole time, babe,” Emma responded not looking directly at Regina.

“Interesting. Because you don’t seem to have a beverage of any kind in your hand yet those coasters there clearly have had sweating beverages on them recently…”

“Oh, um. Yeah I had Luce take that into the kitchen for me when you got home so she could finish it… That doesn’t even make sense. I’m sorry, babe. I’m too lenient when it comes to them sometimes, I know,” she huffed out as she laid her head on Regina’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her stomach. “Why are you still wearing your coat?”

“You know for a detective, you’re really not that good at noticing details sometimes, love,” Regina said with a light chuckle.

“Hey! That’s Jane’s department. I’m better at other stuff. That’s why you have a partner, babe,” Emma said as she kissed her wife’s cheek.

“A partner in crime when it comes to our children though, huh dear?”

“Hey, Mom!!” Lucy and Henry said in unison as they walked back into the living room to join their mothers on the couch.

“So how was your program tonight?” Lucy asked first. 

“Yeah how’d it go?” Henry asked overenthusiastically as he flopped down next to Regina and Lucy beside him. 

“It went well, thank you for asking. How was dinner?”

“Great! Henry had most of the lasagna,” Lucy answered.

“You didn’t leave a piece for your mother?” Regina asked him directly.

“Oh, it’s fine, Gina. He’s a growing boy. Plus I just got something on the way home with Jane anyway. So it’s cool.”

“Emma. Not only did you clearly let our children eat their dinners in the living room instead of at the kitchen table and apparently watch--is this True Detective??--but you also had junk food for dinner again?! When I know that you have mostly junk for lunch since you’re always working through it,” Regina stated with equal parts annoyance and disappointment in her voice. 

“Yeah...” Emma answered cautiously.

Both teenagers also looks unsuredly in their brunette mother’s direction.

Regina sighed dramatically before saying, “It’s fine. No one’s in trouble tonight,” she chuckled tiredly. “And it seems like you all know you did something wrong. So there’s that, I guess.”

“So it’s cool if we eat our dinners in the living room more then?” Henry asked.

“Nope. Not what I said.”

“So that’s a no on that then, kid. But it’s okay for me to eat fast food whenever now right, babe? You’ve finally given up on barring me from doing that?” Emma asked. 

“You can, but I’ll probably find out and make you feel guilty about it. You and Jane both may still be skinny but you don’t have the same metabolisms you used to have. You know that, Em. I mean, Jane is turning 40 soon for God’s sake.”

“Okay, babe. Point well made. And I’ll make it up to you and say sorry more later tonight. I promise. I just don’t want to make our children feel awkward right now.”

“Fail!” “Too late!!” Lucy and Henry said together. 

Regina laughed at them. “Although, if you’re letting them watch this, what else are they watching?” 

“Oh we’ve already established that they’re not watching Game of Thrones yet,” Emma said casually as she actively began to watch television. 

“Well, Henry’s not. But I’m not missing out on the hotness that is Jon Snow. Or Sansa for that matter,” Lucy said quietly, mostly to herself.

“Dude, you know that we can all hear you right? We’re sitting right next to you,” Henry stated. 

“I think Khaleesi is hotter, actually,” Regina stated nonchalantly.

“I’ve still never gotten over Khal Drogo,” Emma added.

“Wait, how come she can watch it and I can’t?!” Henry asked.

“Simple. Because she’s more mature than you are, kid. Face it, girls mature faster than boys in most cases. And in your case that sadly seems to be true,” Emma answered. 

“Na ah,” Henry responded.

“How about that scene where Daenerys gets taught by her handmaiden how to please Khal Drogo?” Regina asked matter of factly.

“Wha--I left something in my room!!” Henry exclaimed as he jumped up and could then be heard sprinting up the steps.

“That was mean, Mom.”

Emma laughs. “Good one, babe. I wonder if his friends told him about that scene?” Emma asked before laying her head back down on her wife’s shoulder.


	2. Learning How to Drive and Dinner with Friends

“Okay, kid, now just ease off the brake and gently press down on the gas,” Emma said with confidence. 

“Like this?” Henry asked, keeping his hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel as the car inched forward. “Is this okay, Ma?? Am I going too fast?”

“No, dork, we’ve barely even made it a foot past the house yet,” Lucy jested from the back seat.

“Don’t listen to her, Hen,” Emma interjected. “And no back seat driving,” she said as she turned to give her daughter a playful glare in the seat behind her brother. “Now your mother wanted me to drive us to an empty parking lot so we could learn there, but since our street and neighborhood are both pretty safe and doesn’t really have any traffic this time of day I figured you could drive us there. We could practice a little in the lot and then switch. And Luce can drive us back home.”

“If we get there before it’s dark and you have to drive us back,” Lucy said more to herself than anyone else. “Seriously, Ma,” she said in a louder voice, “can you get him to go just a little bit faster so I can have my turn? I don’t even know why he got to go first anyway…” she mumbled.

Emma heard her and responded, “Because he’s older sweetheart. We’ve gone over this. You’ll get to go first next time and so on and so forth until you finally get to try for your licenses okay? I promise this is like the only time that him being older will work out against you.” 

“Okay. I guess,” Lucy responded with a pout as she crossed her arms and sat back heavily against her seat as she looked angrily out her window.

“But seriously, kid, you can press just a little bit harder on the gas okay. You’re not gonna hurt your mom’s car. I promise.”

“You might. Both of your cars are so old they could fall apart at any time,” Lucy grumbled still looking out the window and sitting with her arms crossed. 

“Hey, they’re classic cars! And they’re in great condition. So don’t knock ‘em,” Emma responded.

“Whatever. So when are we going to learn to drive stick? And whose car are we going to take the test in?” Lucy asked, finally sitting in a more relaxed position and talking directly to her mother.

“Slow down there, Luce. Henry, honey, you can speed up just a little bit more. The speed limit is 25. We’re not in a school zone, bud. And to answer you questions, sweetheart, you’re going to learn to drive both but your mother has agreed to teach you how to drive my car. And we both agreed that it was probably best that you learn how to drive the automatic first since it’s simpler for beginners.”

“So what you’re saying is she lost a bet and now she has to teach us to drive your car,” Lucy stated with a smirk.

“Well she has been winning a lot of our bets lately so I was due to win one sometime soon,” Emma answered with a returning smirk. “And can you imagine your brother trying to learn how to shift gears? Right now he’s having trouble just managing to crawl down our street.”

“Hey, we’re rolling now. Not crawling,” Henry responded in an offended tone.

“Kid, I think Casey just passed us and she still had the training wheels on her bike.”

Lucy laughed at her mother’s comment, content enough when Henry responded by actually driving the speed limit to not make a further disparaging comment.

“Whoa, honey, that’s!-- the curb,” Emma stated softly after letting out a huge breath and dropping her chin to her chest from pure exhaustion. 

“Sorry, Ma,” Lucy said with a wince. “It won’t happen again. I promise,” she stated confidently as she put the car in park, left it running and released her seat belt to get out of the car.

“Oh man, Luce you better hope that you didn’t put a scratch on Mom’s baby,” Henry chuckled from behind his sister as he released his seat belt too to follow her out of the car. 

They got out almost simultaneously before Emma could stop them and walked up the driveway to the house, leaving their mother to pull the car farther into the driveway.

“Really, guys!? Hey wait, I didn’t get a chance to show you where your blind spots are!” she called after them.

But they were already halfway to the house and speaking animatedly about their first driving lesson.

“Lucky they’re cute,” Emma huffed to herself as she unbuckled her belt and slid over into the driver’s seat.

She went straight into the kitchen after hanging up her coat in the closet to join her family for dinner.

“Mom, it was awesome! We had the whole lot to ourselves. And Ma let me get your car up to almost 50! It was so much fun!” Emma heard her daughter say as she walked into the room. She immediately turned around and tried to sneak back out but was caught from doing so by her wife’s glare.

“Oh really, mija? Well that does sound like fun,” Regina said as she looked right at Emma and smiled dangerously.

“Oh no, babe. She’s totally exaggerating. We only got Black Beauty up to like 40. 45 max,” Emma said as walked toward the island. “And anyway there were no other cars around. So it was cool.”

“So you think it’s safe to let our children speed around in a parking lot for their first time behind the wheel of a car?” Regina asked her wife.

Emma just shrugged her shoulders and opened her mouth to answer Regina. Although no sound came out to respond. 

“I got this, Ma,” Henry whispered to his desperate looking blonde mother. Then he spoke up and said, “Don’t worry, Mom. Luce may have a lead foot but I drove the speed limit the entire way to the lot and I didn’t go over 30 once we were in it.” He nodded his head confidently in his brunette mother’s direction, but when he turned to smile at Emma, her mouth was still agape and she now had her arms spread out, giving her son a pleading and confused look.

“Oh so you drove to the lot then, mijo. Not your mother?” Regina asked Henry, but once again looked directly at her wife.

“Dude! She wasn’t supposed to know that, remember?!” Lucy said, stepping in to correct her brother. 

“Yeah, thanks kid. Now it doesn’t even matter if I win the next bet or not…” Emma said before she ran her hand frustratedly through her hair and sat down at the island with a huff.

“Oh we're way past winning bets now, my love,” Regina said with a predatory grin as she walked over to her wife and put her arms around her neck to kiss her hello. “Hi, by the way,” she said sweetly after their brief kiss. Emma whose hands had instinctively gone to Regina’s hips leaned in for another longer kiss, ignoring and not caring about the fact that her children were present only to be stopped as Regina leaned away from her.

“Hey! What’s that about, babe?” 

“That. Is the only thing you’re getting from me for awhile in that capacity of our relationship for putting our children’s lives in unnecessary and undisclosed danger,” Regina stated seductively as she grinned and looked down into Emma’s eyes.

“Oh please. As we discussed the other day when we were in the shower I believe you said--”

“Whoa, Moms!!!” “Really didn’t need to hear that right now!!” Henry and Lucy said at the same time as they walked quickly out of the room.

“Just let us know when dinner is ready!” Lucy called out to her mothers over her shoulder on her way to the living room, followed closely by her brother.

“As I was saying,” Emma whispered as she wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her closer into her spread legs. Regina didn’t resist as her wife gave her a longer kiss hello. They continued to do so until they were interrupted by the sound of Emma’s grumbling stomach. Both women stopped their kiss and chuckled together.

“What is for dinner, babe? I don’t see or smell anything.”

“Well as I was just about to remind our children, we agreed to go over to Maura and Jane’s tonight to have dinner with them.”

“That’s tonight? This is why I don’t like to make plans too far in advance,” Emma whined. “I’m so hungry right now, baby.”

“Don’t cry to me about it. You made these plans if I remember correctly. With your partner. But I have to agree with you that you don’t like plans made in advance. Since I distinctly remember us agreeing to you driving them to and from the lot. Not letting them drive,” Regina said as she released herself from Emma’s hold and walked out of the room.

“But, babe…” Emma whined after her as she got up and followed her wife from the kitchen to the living room.

“Don’t ‘but, babe’ me. I know you remember us agreeing to that Mrs. Swan-Mills. Even if it was post-coitus,” Regina said with a flirtatious grin. 

“Yes, I do. And don’t call me that. You know it only turns me on and we have to get to Jane and Maura’s before I pass out from hunger,” Emma answered.

“Ma, we came in here so we didn’t have to see or hear you two flirting and kissing in front of us. Jeez!” Henry said as he stood up and left the room. Lucy gave her blonde mother a pointed look before following him. 

“You’d think they’d be used to us acting like this by now,” Emma said with a shrug of her shoulders as she grabbed her coat and followed her family out the door. 

“Hey, you guys. Come on in!” Jane Isles said as she opened the door for her dinner guests. “Maur! The Swan-Mills clan is here!” she then called out to her wife.

“Jay, you don’t have to announce us every time we come over. It’s not like we’ve never been here before,” Emma said with a chuckle.

“Ah, but I do, Ems. Because that’s what they do in polite society. Maura’s been teaching me some new things like that lately.”

“What other kinds of things has Maura been teaching you lately?” Regina said in a seductive tone as she walked past Jane.

“Gina, with the sauciness tonight. I like it!”

“Don’t encourage her, Aunt Jane,” Lucy stated. “They’ve been flirting almost non-stop since we got home from our driving lesson. It’s disgusting,” Lucy said as she gave Jane a quick hug hello.

“Driving lesson?! What?? Already?!”

“That’s what we said last week,” Regina responded.

“Yup,” Emma added. “It was...eventful. To say the least,” she concluded. She looked up as she heard her niece and nephew clamoring down the stairs and smiled as she then saw their mother coming behind them.

“Hey, you guys,” Emma said as Riley ran over to her to give her a hug. Emma barely had to lean down to reciprocate. “My god, girlie, you are getting huge! How old are you now again?” Emma asked as she tried but then quickly gave up on trying to pick her niece up.

“I’m eleven, Aunt Emma,” Riley said with a chuckle before she let go to switch places with her brother and give Regina a hug hello.

“Hello Em, Gina. You two went driving today?!” Maura asked the two teenagers. 

“Yeah. It was so fun, Aunt Maur!” Lucy answered excitedly. “I can’t wait to go again,” she said as she handed her coat to Jane. 

Her brother followed suit and then said, “She’s already a speed demon, though. I wouldn’t let her near your car if I were you, Aunt Maur. It’s way too nice,” Henry commented.

“Are you kidding, Hen?? I’m not even allowed to drive her car without permission,” Jane said with a chuckle. “But wait, so whose car did you guys take for this first lesson?” she then asked with a smirk.

“We ended up taking Gina’s since we wanted to get them started with an automatic. She’s on stick shift duty later though,” Emma said.

“Oh really…?” Jane asked, turning towards the other brunette mother. “Did you lose one of your many bets, Gina?”

“Yeah… Something like that,” Regina responded with an easy smile. “So what are we having for dinner, if you don’t mind me asking. My wife’s stomach has been growling non-stop since she brought those two home from their lesson.”

“We’re having salmon with rice pilaf and a side of string beans,” Maura answered. “Riley, why don’t you and James take Henry and Lucy into the dining room and show them where everything is so you can set the table, please.”

“Sure, Mom!”

“That sounds both healthy and delicious, Maur,” Regina stated as they followed their friends into their kitchen. 

“Well I have to make sure both Jane and our children eat healthy meals. Especially since Jane only eats junk food when she’s not here,” Maura said as she playfully pinched her wife’s sides from behind her. 

“Hey!” Jane chuckled in response. “I’m just following my partner’s lead.”

“Hey, whoa! Don’t try to throw me under the bus with you, Jay,” Emma replied.

“Oh don’t even try to deny it, Em,” Regina joined in. “It doesn’t matter whose idea it is, you two need to start eating better lunches. And you know it,” she stated authoritatively.

By the time each adult had a glass of wine and had made their way to the dining room table, it was all set and each of their children were sitting patiently and expectantly.

Maura and Jane placed their drinks down and went back to the kitchen to retrieve the entrees. After everyone had plated some food and began to eat, the conversation flowed easily between the two close families.

“So Gina, are their any good pre-teen programs at the library currently?” Maura asked after swallowing a small bite.

“Yes. I believe the newest ones Belle has are the Anime clubs and Gaming Days. Though don’t ask me what days they are because I leave all of that up to Belle,” Regina answered with a smile.

“What? The director of the library doesn’t know the schedule of each and every one of the programs that her library has?? I’m shocked,” Jane gasped dramatically with a hand over her heart.

“Dude, calm down,” Emma chuckled. “My woman is too busy doing more important things. Plus she knows she can trust her employees to do what they do best. Right, babe?”

“Yes, if by important you mean dealing with whiny board members, making sure the bills are paid on time and other boring administrative duties then yes I am too busy doing those oh so important tasks,” Regina replied with just a hint of disdain. 

“But you still get to do some of those programs that you actually like right, Mom?” Lucy asked with a mouthful of food.

“Mija, swallow your food before you speak please. And yes I do. And I like to make the time to work at the circulation desk just to get some face time with my patrons when I can,” Regina responded with a pleasant smirk.

Emma saw her chance and could barely hide and contain her excitement as she looked down at her plate before she asked, “Speaking of helping patrons, Gina didn’t you say that you saw Luce giving a very intimate goodbye to a young man in the stacks the other day?” She could barely control her grin at the daughter’s response.

“Ma, what?? Mom, I don’t know what you think you saw but…I-I was just hugging Nick goodbye, I swear,” Lucy stammered. 

“Uh huh,” Regina replied with a grin. “And that required the use of your lips. On his lips,” she said as she took another bite of her dinner and winked at her daughter.

Both Riley and James who had been relatively quiet throughout the meal responded with simultaneous, “Ooooo, Luce!!” before giggling to each other.

“Wait so that’s why Nick has been asking me about you so much lately?!” Henry exclaimed. “I can’t believe I had no idea! Why didn’t you tell me??”

“We didn’t really want it to be public yet, I guess. But everybody knows now so...,” Lucy mumbled as she looked down and her plate and pushed her food around. 

“No it’s cool, sis. Really. Now we can go on like double dates and stuff. Although I guess we kinda already were doing that. Just that Eva and me didn’t know so---”

“Actually. Eva knew, dude,” Lucy stated confidently.

“What?? No she didn’t. Why wouldn’t she--”

“Bro, we’ve been over this. She probably did tell you but you don’t tend to listen to her sometimes,” Lucy accused, getting a little agitated with Henry. 

“Whatever, dude,” Henry dismissed his sister. “You don’t know everything. Though you like to think you do…,”

“It’s not ‘whatever, dude!’ You don’t listen!!”

Regina found herself having to stop one of the rare fights that her children had. “Okay okay okay!! Mija, mijo! Stop fighting at the dinner table! Who cares about who knew what and when?? Or who thought it would be a good idea to bring up the topic in the first place,” she said, giving her wife a pointed glare. Emma was doing her best not to make eye contact with any of her family members as Jane and Maura were both trying their hardest not to laugh at Emma’s current maturity level.

After her children had settled down, Emma turned to her daughter. “Sweetheart I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to--”

“It’s fine, Ma. Really I’m over it. I’m not mad. Honest,” Lucy replied as she looked at her blonde mother and gave her a small smile.

“So glad we still have a few more years before Riles and J start dating. I am a little stressed for them right now,” Jane said quietly to her wife about their friends. The conversation had now moved on to lighter topics between everyone else at the table. 

“It’s perfectly natural to feel that way, honey. But it seems like Lucy and Henry are fine with each other and their current dating situations,” Maura replied in a low voice. 

“No, I mean I’m stressed for Gina and Ems. Having teenagers is rough!”

After dinner everyone but Regina and Emma retired to the family room to relax. The couple had decided to say thank you to their hosts by insisting on helping to clean up by putting the dishes in the dishwasher. As they made their way back to rejoin everyone, they could barely keep their hands to themselves. This fact was only made more evident when they chose to sit in an oversized chair practically on top of one another. The boys were seated on the floor. Henry was showing James something on his phone and Maura, Jane, Lucy and Riley were browsing through Netflix trying to find something to watch. 

“You guys wanna get a room or…?” Jane asked with a smirk as she noticed how cuddled up the other two mothers were.

“Aunt Jay, please don’t encourage them,” Lucy responded with an eye roll. “They’re so ridiculous when they get like this.”

Henry glanced up from his phone to add, “Yeah it’s like ten times worse after they argue. We just try to ignore them until they calm down.”

“Oh, so there is a calming down part? Good to know,” Jane stated with a smirk, shaking her head as she watched Emma whisper something in Regina’s ear. Regina who was in her wife’s lap, laughed deeply before she wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck and leaned down to kiss behind her ear. “Are they gonna do this for the entire movie?” 

“Maybe we should actually offer them a room since they seem to be so distracted by each other,” Maura stated matter of factly. “Regina? Emma? Would you like to take advantage of our guest room while we watch the movie? I just put fresh sheets on the bed yesterday.”

Although Emma didn’t hear or respond to her friend because she was busy lightly kissing along her wife’s neck, Regina managed to answer in the negative through some girlish giggles.

“They’re fine. It’s if and when you hear moaning that you have to get worried. Let’s just pick something and start it,” Lucy stated.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Emma said, “How about a romantic comedy? I’m in the mood for a good one that I haven’t seen in a while,” as she stared lovingly up at her wife.

“Okay,” Jane answered. Since she had the remote she decided to take her friend’s suggestion. “But only if you two promise not to keep doing that and at least partially pay attention to the movie,” Jane offered in their direction.

“Alright, Jay, we promise,” Emma agreed, finally looking away from Regina and nodding at her friend. 

“I will make no such promise,” Regina stated resolutely before she lightly grabbed her wife by the chin and gave her a deep kiss.

“Aunt Gina!!” “Ew!” Riley and James exclaimed at once. 

“Moms, really?!?” Henry responded when he finally looked up. 

“I think you two really should probably take Aunt Maura up on her offer for their guest room. Jeez! Some of us want to actually enjoy the movie,” Lucy huffed.

“No, Luce. That’s a terrible idea. I don’t want to have to think about what they're doing up there the whole time or possibly hear them,” Henry responded.

“Well, son, you should be used to that by now. It’s not like we don’t ever do it in our own room or anything,” Emma said with a chuckle as she broke away from the kiss before squeezing Regina’s ass and going back in for another deep kiss. 

Before anyone knew what was happening Maura appeared seemingly out of nowhere and proceeded to spray the two women with a bottle used for their dog, Jo Friday, until they jumped and somewhat separated from each other. Enough to Maura’s liking, anyway.

“Wow! You know it’s serious when my Maur risks ruining her furniture just to get you two to calm down,” Jane said, barely containing her laughter.

“It’s just water, honey. And clearly it’s worked,” Maura stated proudly with a large smile. 

Everyone but the now saturated couple lost it. 

“Okay, oohhh, how about How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? That’s pretty classic. Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson,” Jane suggested. 

“Kate Hudson is Goldie Hawn’s daughter right? I love her movies. Private Benjamin! Now there’s a classic,” Lucy stated with enthusiasm. 

“How do you know Private Benjamin?? A movie that came out in the 80s. But haven’t seen this movie from the early 2000s?” Jane asked with a chuckle after abruptly stopping herself from taking another sip of her wine.

“Uh, I have good taste in movies? And I’m more of a Katherine Heigl romantic comedy fan. 27 Dresses anyone?” Lucy responded.

“Why does it have to be a romantic comedy at all?” Henry whined. “How about a compromise? Something like...I don’t know, like Overboard. That’s a good one!

“Oh yes! I enjoyed that remake very much,” Maura chimed in, taking her original seat.

“No I was talking about the original one, with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell? Remember…?” Henry asked to the room. 

Everyone gave him confused looks; even they knew exactly what he was referring to.

“What? Luce said she liked Private Benjamin so I figured there’s that for her,” Henry said with a shoulder shrug. “And I think I speak for all of the guys in the room when I say I’d rather not watch a lovey dovey--”

All of the women and girls protested Henry’s description.

“You know what, Hen? My son can speak for himself,” Jane stated.

“Yeah, JJ, what do you want to watch, bud?” Emma chimed in. 

“You know you’re the only one that calls him that,” Maura said with a smile.

“Well it was too confusing when I call Jane, Jay, so I made due,” Emma responded. 

“Um...I think that first one that my Mom said,” James stated with a confident nod. 

"Aw, man, you really let me down, cuz," Henry responded. 

"Sorry…,” James said with a shrug.

"It’s alright,” Henry replied as he grabbed James around the shoulder for a side hug. “I forgive you. At least Kate Hudson is hot,” he said with a wide smile.

“Henry!!” “Really?!” “Come on, bro!”

“What? I’m just saying the obvious…” 

“That’s your son, Em,” Regina said with a grin as she looked at her wife and then turned around in her lap more toward the television.

“Please, Gina. You’re gonna tell me you’re not into blondes?” Emma replied with a confident smirk.

“Shhh, Aunts,” said Riley. “The movie’s starting.”

“Wow, first I’m sprayed with a bottle used to train the dog. Then I’m shushed by my niece. This really is a night to remember,” Regina stated sarcastically.

“Don’t worry, babe. We’ll make later tonight more of a night to remember,” Emma whispered in her ear as she lightly wrapped her arms around her wife's waist. 

But apparently not quietly enough because then she was shushed by everyone else.


	3. Dinners with Mothers and Displays of Affection

“Hey, Ma,” Emma said easily as she walked into her mother and now also step-mother’s house and saw Maleficent first. The older woman put down her horse breeding magazine and turned around on the couch toward her daughter-in-law with a smile. 

“Hey, Emma,” she said as she stood to greet the taller blonde woman. 

“Where’s Mom?” Emma asked after their embrace. “I thought she said she’d be ready to go by the time I got here.”

Maleficent chuckled. “Oh you know your mother better than that, Em,” she said with a smirk. “She does not at all have the ability to get ready that quickly. She just went upstairs around twenty minutes ago… So she’ll probably be down in the next few minutes. Give or take,” Maleficent replied as she made a maybe motion with one hand. 

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Emma agreed. 

“Anyway, so tell what’s going on with you and Regina and the babies. It’s been too long since I’ve seen them it feels like.”

“Ma, they’re hardly babies anymore. And you just saw us like three weeks ago,” Emma replied with a sigh. “Actually we did take them on their first driving lessons since we last saw you,” she said with more perkiness and a grin.

“Oh my goodness! How’d they do?” Maleficent asked excitedly.

“Well the first time was a bit of a doozy, but at least we had Gina’s car so it was much simpler for them. But thank God I wasn’t there when she took them in my car. I can only imagine what happened because they literally came running into the house and sprinted right up the stairs for their rooms. When Gina came in the only thing she said when I asked what happened was that they know what they did and they had to sit in their rooms and think about it until dinner was ready. She’d even taken their phones from them. And then she yelled up the steps that if she heard a peep from them they’d be in even more trouble. It was actually pretty hilarious. I only stopped laughing when she turned to me fully and I saw how harried she looked.”

“Yeesh! That’s harsh. But how did she end up teaching them in your car and vice versa?”

“Uh...well simple. She lost a bet,” Emma said with an arrogant smirk and a shrug of her shoulders as she looked away from her other mother. 

“Ah...one of your infamous bets, huh?” Maleficent said with a chuckle as she shook her head. 

“How does everyone know about those?” Emma said quietly, more to herself. “Anyway,” she said more loudly, “I think they might be begging everyone for a car for Christmas at this point. And they do have a lot of options. Actually Gina and I should probably send out a group text about that in case anyone gets any bright ideas,” Emma stated.

“I don’t know about that, dear,” Maleficent answered hesitantly. “The last time you started one of those for party ideas for Luce it kind of got out of control. Pretty fast, I might add,” Maleficent said with a chuckle.

“Okay Ma, fair point. But we gotta tell everyone some way. I guess we’ll just have to split up the family and send individual texts,” Emma huffed. “So much more work!”

“Oh stop being so dramatic,” Maleficent chuckled as she lightly slapped Emma’s arm. They both looked up as Ingrid entered the room. 

“What’s she being dramatic about now, love?” she asked as she went over to hug her daughter hello. 

“She can tell you herself later,” Maleficent said before leaning over to accept a short goodbye kiss from her wife. She did a double take when when she saw the dressy yet sexy outfit that Ingrid was wearing. “Babe, don’t you think you’re just a little overdressed to go on a dinner date with you daughter?”

“Yeah, Mom. We’re only going to Granny’s. Now I see why it took you so long to get ready to go.”

“There’s nothing wrong with taking a little pride in my appearance,” Ingrid replied airily. “Besides, someone doesn't take me out as often as she used to.”

Maleficent growled and grabbed her wife by the waist. “Well if you dress like this more often maybe I’ll be more prompted to,” she said before she pulled Ingrid in farther with a deep kiss. Ingrid immediately wrapped her arms around the shorter woman and moaned into the kiss. 

Emma just smiled and shook her head as she turned and walked toward the door. “Okay, I guess I’ll meet you in the car then. See ya later, Ma!” she called over her shoulder. She was now long used to her mothers’ constant displays of affection. 

"I can’t believe you ordered a side salad instead of fries, honey,” Ingrid remarked as she handed her menu to their waitress. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Well there’s tomatoes, lettuce, onions and pickles on my burger but Gina’s really been getting at me to eat more healthily since we’re getting older and all that. Whatever,” Emma sighed with an eye roll. 

“Sweetie, she just worries about you and wants to keep you around as long as possible,” Ingrid replied to a curious look from her daughter. “Anyway, that’s what I suspect,” she mumbled as she looked away from Emma and picked up a dessert menu to peruse.

“Mmhmm. Let me guess. You two still like to discuss me at you little book club meetings,” Emma shot back calmly. “If I had known that you volunteering to lead that group would not only give you something to do after you retired because clearly were bored but would also lead to you and my wife gossiping about me on a weekly basis, I highly doubt I would have recommended it,” she finished through clenched teeth and fake smile. 

“First of all, I will never be fully retired as long as I’m unofficially helping my wife to run her business, second of all, I would hardly call what Regina and I do gossiping as it’s not a secret that we both love you and want what’s best for you and finally you know you didn’t recommend anything to me. It was Regina who approached me and as I recall you walked away as soon as we started discussing ‘nerd stuff’,” Ingrid responded in almost one breath, using air quotes in reference to her last two words. She smiled genuinely at her daughter as she finally looked up at her and replaced the dessert menu in its original spot. 

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. How about I buy you a rocky road sundae to make up for it?” Emma asked with a smile.

“Oh honey, you know you were already going to be doing that, right?” Ingrid said with a loving look. “So tell my what’s happening with my grandchildren lately.”

Feeling forgiven, Emma easily replied, “Sure.”

“Hi! Is anyone home?” Regina called out as she walked into the house. After receiving no answer, she shut the door behind herself and went to hang up her coat in the closet. As she approached the living room, she noticed that the TV was on but currently paused. Regina immediately recognized Amy Adams on the screen and quickly came to the conclusion that her wife was watching Sharp Objects without her. Before she could even begin to scold her, the brunette looked down at the couch to discover Emma sleeping softly with her head resting on her chin and the remote barely grasped in one of her hands. 

“So cute,” Regina said with a smirk as she gently took the remote away from her wife and softly set it down on the coffee table. 

After getting another look at how adorable Emma looked in her current state, Regina made the swift decision to wake the blonde up in a surprising yet sensual manner. She took off her flats, hiked up her skirt and as gently as she could she began to straddle her wife without waking her. When she was safely sitting in her lap, she softly ran her fingers through her hair on both sides of her head as she whispered, “Emma… Wake up, my love. I have a present for you.”

Emma groaned softly but still did not open her eyes completely. Regina continued to massage her fingers through her blonde locks before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “Wake up, Em,” she said again gently. 

Emma finally opened her eyes and when she saw and felt her wife sitting in her lap and massaging her scalp, she smiled and her hands naturally went to Regina’s hips. “Hey, babe,” she replied groggily. “Did I fall asleep? I was waiting for you to get home and then I guess I just...”

“Shhhh,” Regina whispered. “It’s okay, love. I’m not even mad that you obviously started watching Sharp Objects without me.”

“No, baby, I was just cuing it up to where we were. See that’s why it’s paused and…” Emma’s rambling was abruptly cut off by a very soft and sweet kiss from her wife that the blonde could not help but to moan into. 

“Mmmmm,” Regina said as she ended their kiss and wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck. “No worries, love. You looked so adorable when you were asleep just now that I couldn’t help waking you up with a kiss,” she said with a smile.

“Wow. Well then I guess I should fall asleep like that more often then. If this is what I get to wake up to.”

“Oh and what’s that?” Regina asked as she grinded into her wife.

“Oh, baby…” Emma moaned at the motion. “A fucking ridiculously hot woman who just so happens to be my wife in my lap and ready to…”

“Make love to her gorgeous wife on our couch? Yes you’re right,” Regina said with a smirk of confidence as she leaned down for another kiss.

Emma suddenly turned her head away from her though before she asked, “Wait, where are the kids?”

“Oh don’t worry. I texted them before I left work to see where they were and trust me they won’t be home for a little while yet. So we have some time,” she responded as she kissed Emma even more languidly than before. 

“Oh, babe,” Emma moaned in between kisses. “It’s been soooo long since we’ve gotten to do it on the couch.” She squeezed her wife’s ass before wrapping her arms around her. As she hugged her, she lifted her up slightly and repositioned her on her back all the while continuing to kiss her slowly and sensuously.

Regina kept her legs wrapped around Emma’s lower back as she let go of her neck and began to take the blonde’s belt off. As Emma looked down at her, she got a good look at her wife and suddenly realized what she was wearing. One of her favorite outfits, a pencil skirt and a crisp white button up shirt under a matching blazer. “Fuuuuck, babe. You look so hot right now,” Emma stated as Regina had finished taking off her belt and was now unbuckling her dress pants and helping her wife shimmy out of them but leaving her underwear on. 

“I know,” Regina replied with a smirk and she reached up to pull her wife back down to her to continue kissing her. Her hands slid past the waistband of Emma’s boy shorts to grab her ass and pull her closer. 

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Emma panted as she helped Regina shimmy out of her blazer. And then quickly went to work on the buttons of her shirt. “Seriously, how does that one button stay closed? It always looks like it’s about to pop open,” she stated in between hurried kisses.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. Just...take it off please!” Regina replied.

“I’m getting there, it’s just…” Both mothers immediately stopped moving as they heard the front door open. Frozen in their current positions, they listened to what they identified as their children and their significant others/best friends walking thru the door and closing it behind themselves.

“OH SHIT!!!” Emma whisper-screamed. “What should we do?? We can’t get caught here in our obvious state of undress right now, babe!”

“Shhh!!!! Clearly! We would scar not only our children but their significant others for life!”

“I know right?! I honestly don’t know how that’s not happened once with all the times and places that we’ve done it in this house though.”

“I agree, love,” Regina whispered back. “Hold on, you went from ‘obvious state of undress’ to doing it to describe sex? What even…?”

“Look, I’ve had to write that a lot recently with my last few cases, I guess it kind of just stuck with me, I don’t know! Gina, what are we going to do right now?!” Emma asked frantically but still very quietly.

“Okay, stop. And listen, detective.” Both women stopped talking to listen to the actions of the teenagers. “They’re doing as they’ve always been told and hanging everyone’s coats up in the foyer closet. So we can’t possibly get past them and run down the hall to escape them any other way but the kitchen right now,” Regina answered.

“Okay, good deal. But what if they come in to get something to eat before they go upstairs?”

“Then I guess we’re going to have to squeeze into the pantry and pray that whatever they get is either in the fridge or already out in the cabinets. Grab your pants and let’s go!” Regina said as she pushed Emma off of her and stood up quickly before jogging stealthily into the kitchen. 

“Wait!” Emma called after her. “What about your jacket?!”

“Just leave it, Em!” Regina whispered as loudly as she could back to her. “Hopefully they won’t notice it if they walk into the living room.”

“Alright, good point,” Emma responded as she had now caught up with Regina. “And knowing them, once they see that we’re not home they’ll probably go and hang out in their respective rooms,” she stated with a deep exhale.

“What do mean ‘they’ll probably go and hang out in their rooms’?? Do you mean with their respective girlfriend and boyfriend?!” Regina whisper-yelled, looking right at Emma.

“Yeah, babe I’ve been letting them hang out with them in their respective rooms when I’m home. But always with the door open. They’re good kids. They wouldn’t try anything while I’m home. Did I not tell you about that?” Emma asked as she looked back at Regina.

“One, can you stop using the word respective?! And two, they should never be in there alone even if we’re home. Emma why would you even give them that idea, let alone your permission?? They are teenagers. Of course they’re going to take advantage when we’re not home! What makes you think they wouldn’t?! Honestly, love, sometimes I really question your lax parenting skills….”

Emma swiftly decided to cut her wife off with a passionate kiss to both make her forget about her anger and remember what they had just been doing in their living room. She continued to kiss her as she let go of her face with one hand and grabbed her waist to push her lightly up against the wall. She only stopped once she heard the distinct sound of all of the teenagers running up the stairs. 

“Why’d you stop?” Regina asked breathlessly. 

“They’re gone,” Emma stated confidently.

“But how do you know?” Regina asked as she panted softly and looked longingly at the side of Emma’s face.

“Because like I said they probably…”

Regina interrupted her wife with a finger placed over her lips. “Don’t bring that up again right now please,” she said sternly.

“Okay,” Emma replied with a smirk. “Let’s go then,” she said as she took Regina’s hand and led them both out of the kitchen and thru the living room into the hallway towards the office. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t hear them running up the stairs apparently,” Regina stated as they tiptoed past the staircase.

“Understandable, babe. You were a little busy at the time,” Emma replied arrogantly. “Good to know I still got it,” she whispered to herself.

“What was that, Em?”

“Nothing!” she quickly replied. “Let’s just get to the office.”

“Yes. At least we can definitely lock that door.”

Once the women were safely inside the office with the door locked they immediately found each other again and slowly found themselves walking farther into the room attached at the hips and lips. Emma who had her hands wrapped around Regina’s waist stopped their progress to ask, “Babe, wait. Sofa or desk?”

After the two women each looked at their options, they both quickly answered, “Desk!”

“I don’t know why I even asked,” Emma chuckled. “The desk is always sexier.”

Regina responded to her wife’s statement but unwrapping her arms from around her neck to reach down and take Emma’s shirt and sweater off. She quickly got rid of her bra as well and led them, walking backwards, over to the desk. Once again without allowing them to stop kissing. When she felt the back of her legs hit the desk she hopped onto it without hesitation and brought Emma down to continue kissing her. 

Emma moved from Regina’s lips to her neck, then her collarbone, followed by her exposed cleavage. Regina let out a loud moan when Emma quickly discarded her shirt and bra and immediately began to suck on one breast and knead the other. After she switched breasts, she made her way down her wife’s toned and tanned stomach before encountering her skirt and stockings. She helped Regina to shimmy out of both and her underwear while she was still seated and then got down on her knees. 

Emma spread open her wife’s toned legs and took in the scent of her excitement. She kissed the inside of her left thigh close to her knee and then the same spot on her right one, slowly making her way down to her apex. She looked up at Regina and gave her a loving smile before she dove in and languished her with broad strokes of her tongue up and down her soaking center, making sure to leave her clit untouched. For now. 

Regina balanced herself with one hand behind her on the desk and put her other hand on Emma’s head as she squeezed her hair from pure pleasure. “OH, FUCK!!! EM, YESSSS!!! RIGHT THERE!!!! OH GOD!!!!!”

Emma stopped abruptly and stood up a little to address Regina. “Baby, shhh…. You can’t be that loud right now. Remember, we’re not alone,” she said with a confident smirk.

“And I don’t care right now!! All I know is you better get back down there and finish what you started!” she demanded as she pointed down toward the floor.

“Yes, ma’am!” Emma responded with a quick two-fingered salute and a kiss to Regina’s lips before she got back down on her knees to do as she was told.

This time she didn’t waste any time teasing her wife but instead wrapped her lips around her clit, put two fingers in her entrance and reached up with her free hand for one of her breasts. Regina then had to use both of her hands to support herself as her head fell back in ecstasy. She somehow controlled herself enough not to scream out as loudly as she had before. Instead she somehow managed to just loudly pant to Emma, “Oh baby, please!! I need more...just one more finger I think and I’ll be…” Before she could finish, Emma complied and the next thing she knew she was chanting her name wife’s name and seeing stars as she reached and fell over her peak. 

Emma quickly stood up and covered Regina’s mouth in a heated kiss to smother her continued moans. When Regina had finally recovered she smiled up at the blonde and said, “Oh God, I love the taste of me on you.”

“Me too,” Emma replied with an easy smile as she rested beside her wife still atop the desk. 

“Okay. Your turn, beautiful,” Regina said with a carnal smirk as she made the motion to roll over on top of the blonde.

“Oh, no no. It’s okay. You know I can’t be as quiet as you, babe,” she replied with a sheepish grin as she stopped her wife’s advances.

“Em, who the hell would call what I just did quiet??”

Emma couldn't help but chuckle in response. “Well me, because you know I’d be like ten times as loud as you. And our kids and their friends would definitely know that we’re home. And what we're doing. You know it’s true,” Emma finished after a skeptical look from Regina. 

“I know, but…”

“Hey, no. It’s okay. Waking up with you in my lap and getting to satisfy you were enough for me today. I wouldn’t mind just cuddling on the couch for a little bit though,” she suggested to the brunette.

“Okay, but only because you gave me such an amazing orgasm just now. Otherwise I might decline because your old love sofa is small and we’re getting too old to be cramped up together in it,” Regina replied with a lift of her eyebrows.

“I know, babe. But it just brings back such good memories. Remember that first night we slept on it together?” Emma asked.

Regina exhaled, “Yes, I do. After our first date. And before you met the rest of my family the next day. Of course, I remember. How could I forget that?”

Sometime later, the two women were still cuddling on the love sofa and discussing what they would do with the rest of their weekend when they both stopped talking after hearing an alert from Emma’s phone. “It’s just a text message,” Emma stated. “I’ll get it later.”

“But it could be from one of our babies,” Regina responded in a whiny voice.

“You’re right. Alright, hold on,” Emma said as she simultaneously tightened her grip on Regina and reached down below her to get her phone out of her pants pocket. “And...you’re right again. It’s the kid asking where we are and what’s for dinner.”

“Of course he’s asking what we’re having for dinner. When is he not thinking about food? And why hasn’t he asked if he could have company over yet?” Regina responded.

As soon as she said that, Emma got another message alert. “He just did actually,” Emma chuckled after she read her latest text. 

“Okay, well how about this?” Regina said before she suddenly snatched the phone from Emma and began to send a rapid fire response back to their son. 

“Gina, what are you writing babe?” Emma asked as she tried unsuccessfully to look over her wife’s shoulder. Before she figured it out though, she clearly heard her son yell from upstairs. “EW, GROSS!!! LUCE, I TOLD YOU I HEARD SOMETHING!!”

Emma laughed fully. “Let me guess. You just told them we were here the whole time and that they’re not allowed to have company for dinner…?” Emma asked with an amused smirk.

“You know me so well, my love,” Regina responded. With a quick kiss and an athleticism that surprised Emma, she jumped up and over Emma to walk across the room and begin to get dressed. “How were your pants so close to the couch, Em?” Regina asked as her wife stood up to do the same.

“Oh, I threw them in this direction when we first came in the room,” Emma replied with a confident smirk.

“Well, time to get them back on and face the music with our son and daughter.” 

Emma huffed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“And you said I wasn’t that loud,” Regina said as she begrudgingly began to put her clothes back on.

“Noooo. I believe I said that I would have been ten times as loud. I didn’t say that you weren’t at all loud. Why do think I kissed you at the end?”

“Because you love me and you had just given me an amazing orgasm. I don’t know!”

“Yeah, all that. But also because you were being super loud, babe,” Emma responded with a chuckle. “I didn’t really know what else to do at the time and I didn’t want to leave you unsatisfied. “

“Well…mission accomplished. I guess...” Regina said halfheartedly. “Hey at least they only had to hear one of their mothers cumming, right?” she said with a shrug of her shoulders as she tucked in her shirt.

“Sure, Gina,” Emma chuckled. “Way to see the silver lining, babe,” Emma said as she followed her out of the room with a hand at the small of her back. 

They were met in the living room by their children. Lucy sat facing the television and gave her mothers a smirking, know-it-all look while Henry sat with the socked feet on the sofa and his back against the arm hunched over his cell phone with earphones in.

“What’s up with him?” Emma asked her daughter.

“I don’t know,” Lucy said. “He said something about needing to watch something to clear his head of the image of you two doing it. Not his exact words but something like that,” she answered with a shrug of her shoulders as she changed the channel.

Henry hadn’t even noticed his mothers had entered the room. So Emma decided to take advantage of that fact and crept quietly around behind him. She then scared him by pushing down on his shoulders in a quick motion. 

“What the?!” Henry exclaimed as he looked back over his shoulders. “Ma! Jeez!! Couldn’t you say hi in a more normal way?! You scared the,” Henry suddenly noticed that his other mother was in the room and following a stern look from her continued quickly, “stuffing out of me.”

This sudden change in his response caused his blonde mother and his sister to begin to laugh hysterically.

“Mmhmm,” Regina replied. “Well how about we have some ‘stuffing’ for dinner? Is that okay with you?” 

“Yeah, Mom. That’s cool with me. Thanks,” Henry responded. 

“Mija, why don’t you come and help me.”

“Okay, Mom,” Luce said as she jumped off of the couch and followed her mother into the kitchen. 

“So you and Ma were really doing it in the office...?” Lucy asked hesitantly as she moved around the kitchen, helping her mother to prepare dinner for their family. “I thought it was weird when I spotted your blazer and your and Ma’s shoes in the living room but then I let it go to go upstairs with Nick.”

“Uhhh…” Regina tried to respond as she turned a shade darker and attempted not to make eye contact with her daughter. 

“It’s okay, Mom. We all heard you. At least I think it was you…” Lucy said as she popped the chicken into the oven. 

“Yeah...we’re sorry, mija. I got home a little bit before you all did. And kind of jumped your mother and then we hid from you until you went upstairs. Then we snuck into the office,” Regina answered with worry on her face as she turned to face her daughter and bit her lip nervously.

“Mom, it’s cool. Really,” Lucy chuckled. “You know I’m fine with you two expressing your love for each other when and I guess wherever you want to. It’s your house. I think the boys were a little freaked out by it though. 

“And why was that, honey?” Regina asked her daughter with a smirk.

“Well they know that they have a lot to live up to, I guess,” Lucy said with a wink as she walked out of the kitchen. 

“Hey, hold on, mija, what were you and Nick doing upstairs in your bedroom?” Regina asked as she followed her daughter back into the living room.

“Okay, so the thing to do really is to stimulate the clitoris. Now I think it’s best done with the tongue but you can also find it easily with fingers or if you get the right angle as you’re penetrating her with your---”

“What the hell are you two talking about?!?!” Regina angrily asked her wife as she stepped around her daughter who had stopped dead in front of her.

Emma went to answer and even opened her mouth to do so a few times but no sound came out. So Henry decided to step in. “Well, I figured I’d ask Ma what she did that made you,” Henry paused and shrugged his shoulders, “react? Like that,” he finished.

“Emma Allison Swan-Mills, are you giving our son sex advice!?”

“Ohh, Ma! She middle named you...” Lucy jested.

“I just… babe, he just… wanted to know how to please a woman. Since he heard me doing it so well. And---”

“So you think you’ll give him this advice and he won’t try it for a couple of years then?!?” Regina hissed loudly, somehow still not yet yelling.

“Well yeah. We--”

“You what?! Así que ayúdame Dios, lo siguiente que digas mejor no sea más estúpido que lo que acabas de decir,” Regina gritted out as she closed her eyes and lifted her head to the ceiling, balling up her fists. 

“Oh and now she’s speaking in Spanish. Ma, do something!” Henry implored, motioning to his brunette mother with both hands.

“Regina, listen,” Emma said as she jumped up and put her hands on both of her wife’s biceps. “Escúchame, mi corazón!! Por favor!” Regina finally opened her eyes and looked into her wife’s. “Trust me, Henry is not at all ready to have sex with Ava. Okay?”

“Yeah, Mom, please, I promise!” Henry backed her up.

“See? He literally is a couple years away from it,” Emma continued.

Lucy could not help but to laugh at that. 

“Shut up, Luce!” Henry responded.

“Hey, second silver lining is our sexy times in our house, heard by our children, helped to open a line of honest communication about sex. That’s a good thing, right babe?” Emma asked desperately.

Regina finally relaxed her stance, unballed her hands and reluctantly nodded her head in agreement. “Yes,” she huffed out. “I guess. But Henry, you’re okay with hearing what you heard earlier and learning more about it…?” Regina asked her son as he looked around Emma.

“Yeah, I mean it was awkward the first few times we heard you guys doing it but now I’m not really that grossed out by it anymore. You’re expressing your love for one another. So that’s cool I guess. To have two parents who love each other so much that they can’t keep their hands off each other is like healthy, right?”

“Well put, bro,” Lucy seconded as she retook her seat next to her brother. “That’s what I told Mom in the kitchen,” she said with a smirk.

“Hold on, you and Luce were talking about this in the kitchen?” Emma asked surprisingly.

“Yes. But we didn’t go into specifics. Unlike some people,” she mumbled. “And you never answered my question about you and Nick in your room, mija,” Regina said as she looked past her wife and directly at her daughter.


	4. Partners and Awkward Thanksgiving Conversations

“Hold on, Swan so let me get this straight,” Jane stated. She had stopped with her sandwich halfway up to her mouth. “You officially found out that your children have heard you and Gina doing it? Like multiple times??” she asked.

“Pretty much. Yeah,” Emma affirmed with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders as she kept watch out of the windshield of the car they were sitting in together.

As soon as Emma answered Jane began to laugh hysterically. 

“What’s so funny about that, Jay? And watch that! I can’t believe I’m letting you eat a sandwich that requires you to use both hands in my car,” Emma huffed as she continued to diligently look out for their suspect. 

“Please! What are you worried about? That I’ll get one more stain in this rust bucket,” Jane replied before taking a huge bite out of her sandwich.

“Excuse me, but I’ll have you know this car is officially considered to be a classic and I just got it detailed recently. So yeah, watch what you’re doing and stop making such a mess!” 

“Detailed? Really??” Jane chuckled. “Who would waste money on that?”

“Shut up! It was a birthday present from my kids alright. Even though Regina probably did help them pay for it,” Emma mumbled in response.

“Well they clearly forgot to get them to fix the heating in this bad boy because I’m freezing my ass off right now,” Jane stated with an exaggerated shivering motion which caused her messy lunch to fall out even more all over her lap.

“Dude, seriously!! You are like the worst partner right now! And look it’s bad enough that we didn’t take your car since my yellow one does tend to stick out like a sore thumb but I’m not going to leave it running and waste gas purely for your comfort. It’s not that cold out. It’s only November. Anyway, here’s our guy,” Emma stated as she pointed across the street and made to get out of the car. 

“Alright, dammit! Hold on. I’m right behind you. Just…give me a sec. To,” Jane picked up the mess of her lunch from her lap and threw it on the dashboard before she quickly exited the car after her partner. 

“Really, Jay?” Emma asked with a roll of her eyes as she looked behind her to see where Jane had put her lunch.

“What? It’s fine,” Jane responded quickly when she caught up to Emma. “Okay, so how do want to play this, Em?” she asked as they walked stride for stride with each other in pursuit of their suspect.

“I don’t know. I was gonna ask you. I did my job. I spotted him while you having and getting your lunch all over my car,” Emma responded.

“Jeez! Get over it already,” Jane said with a jab of her elbow to her friend’s arm. “Okay. He already knows what I look like. So I’m gonna cross the street and figure out a better way to cut him off. You just keep following him but don’t be too obvious about it, okay?”

“Nah. This is apparently my first day and I don’t really know how to do anything you just said,” Emma said with a smirk. Jane shook her head and smiled back before she left her side.

Their suspect took a right and went up the steps into the courtyard of an apartment complex. Emma who was trying to give him some space and not give herself away had indeed lost him around a sudden corner. She drew her gun from her holster before she crept slowly around the same corner. All of a sudden she heard before she actually saw a commotion taking place right in front of her. She immediately recognized Jane’s dark locks and ran over to help her but by the time she got to them, Jane already had the suspect pinned successfully and was cuffing him.

“Good job, partner,” she said sarcastically in Emma’s direction as Emma reholstered her weapon.

“Hey look, I did as you said. I was just leading him more in your direction,” she responded with a bright smile as she helped her partner lift the suspect off the ground.

“Sure. I get it. Payback for eating in you newly detailed car. I’ll never do that again. Trust me, lesson learned,” Jane said seriously.

“Oh my god, calm down, Jay. You know I’d never endanger my best friend’s life over a little special sauce spilled in the Bug,” Emma responded with a chuckle. “But we are definitely taking your car next time,” she stated. “And for awhile after that,” she added with a wide smile.

“I’m so excited for Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa’s!!” Lucy squealed in general to the car. 

“Well all are, mija. But please make sure you stay focused on the road,” Regina stated sternly from the backseat of her car. 

“See, Mom. That’s why you’re in the back with Henry. You’re so afraid but so critical of my driving skills at the same time,” Lucy whined in response.

“No, sweetheart, she’s only making sure that you get us there in one piece,” Emma said sweetly but more in support of her wife. 

“Thanks, Em,” Regina replied as she reached forward to squeeze the blonde’s shoulder. “Also, mija, why do you not have two hands on the wheel at all times??” she asked as she sat back.

“Ugghhh!! Ma, seriously can you do something about your wife??” Lucy said with a dramatic roll of her eyes. 

“¿Jovencita con quien crees que estás hablando en ese tono?”* Regina responded to her daughter.

Lucy immediately ducked her head into her shoulders and winced before giving Emma a quick look of fear while Henry tried to hold in and hide his laughter in the back seat as he pretended to be suddenly interested in something outside of his window instead of on his phone. 

“Okay, babe. Cálmate,” Emma quickly responded as she reached behind her seat without turning around to pat Regina soothingly on her ankle. “We’re almost there.”

“And thank God for that,” Lucy whispered out of the side of her mouth to her blonde mother. 

Emma couldn’t help but to chuckle and continue to comfort her wife as their daughter pulled into the elder Mills’ driveway that was already full of more cars than usual. 

“I guess everyone’s already here,” Henry observed as he got out of the car right after his sister. Lucy tossed the keys over her shoulder to him as they walked toward the front door. He turned and waited until his blonde mother had helped the brunette out of the back seat before he locked the car. 

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into sitting in the back of my own car,” Regina grumbled as she straightened out her clothing before taking Emma’s offered arm and following their children inside. 

“Gina, you’re too hard on her sometimes. I think the trip went a little smoother with me in the front with Luce. But jeez, I can’t even begin to imagine how fun your driving lessons are if they’re anything like that car ride,” she said with a smirk.

“You have no idea, dear,” Regina answered as she and Emma crossed the threshold and she closed the door behind them. 

“Hey! Ma!” Lucy called as soon as they entered the house. 

“Yes, sweetheart, what’s up?”

“Grandpa says me and Henry can have his old car to share if we both pass our tests on the first try!”

“How the hell did she get in there, have a conversation and back out here that fast? We barely just walked through the door,” Emma stated with a chuckle.

“Em, you know how she gets when she really wants something and sets her sights on it.”

“Pretty much unstoppable,” Emma stated flatly.

“Yup! I’m gonna go say hi to everyone before I find Dad and tell him that his offer is not even remotely on the table as an option,” Regina stated as she handed Emma her coat and walked toward the back of the house, presumably where everyone else was.

Emma shook and head and smiled as she went to hang up her coat along with her wife’s. Instead of going to greet everyone though she instead decided to use the upstairs bathroom on a whim. As she made her way down the hallway, she just happened to catch a little bit of the conversation between who she quickly identified as her son, her nephew, Roland, and their uncle, Jefferson. She could hear the sounds of a video game in the background. “How did he get up here and join in on their game that fast?” Emma mumbled to herself. “He’s probably getting his ass kicked though, playing with those two.”

Emma’s guess turned out to be right as she heard Roland yell enthusiastically, “BOOM, Uncle Jeff!! And you said no one could be you at this game!”

“No, Ro, I believe what I said was no one in this house has ever beaten me at this game,” Jefferson replied back.

“Um, that’s so not true. My mom did. I just have to remember the cheat codes that she showed me…”

Emma grinned. She could so clearly see the face that her son made when he was concentrating really hard as he did something. She decided to eavesdrop a little bit longer until she heard something that she quickly decided she really didn’t need to know more about. 

“Okay, so I finally figured out that I’m into guys too. And I need some advice, Uncle Jeff. How do I schmooze a hot guy?”

“Honestly, it’s kinda the same as with a lady, dude,” Jefferson replied with a shrug of his shoulders and never taking his eyes off of the screen. “Hot or not, flowers never hurt. Compliments. Just tell him how you feel if it’s something serious that you can see going somewhere.”

“Alright. That sounds good. Thanks. But where I really need some help is in the banging a dude department. The farthest I’ve gotten so far is just kissing and quick hand jobs. Not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous to go down on him.”

“Wait, who’s him? That Rob, guy you were telling me about the other day?” Jefferson asked.

“Yeah. So we’re in his room and things are gettin’ real hot and heavy real fast. So then I went to--”

“Nope! You guys know I love you but I am not down for this conversation right now,” Henry interrupted his cousin. 

“Hen, you never know man. You may need it in the future,” his uncle stated with a wink in his direction. 

“Yeah...I’m good and it’s not even the fact I don’t think I’m into dudes but just that it’s hard not to picture you two doing what you’re about to describe. So I’m good on that. And I’m out! You keep kicking my ass anyway,” he said as he dropped his controller and stepped over his uncle’s legs to exit the room.

“Anyway. I forgot what I was saying. But any advice?

“Okay. First you might wanna try to--”

Henry shook and his smiled as he thought, Was everyone’s family as open as his was when it came to talking about sex? “Probably not,” he answered his own question with a shrug of his shoulders as he made his way back downstairs.

He found just his blonde mother and one of his other uncles, August, in the family room when he entered it. “Hey, Ma. Uncle A,” Henry greeted as she flopped down into one of the empty oversized chairs. 

“Hey, bud. You done with your game already?” Emma asked her son with a poorly concealed smirk.

“Yeah,” Henry answered with a huff. “I got tired of losing and then Ro started asking Uncle Jeff for sex advice. And I said no thank you and peaced out.”

Emma and August both laughed. “Well, I mean he’s definitely old enough to talk about that sort of thing with him, I guess…” August said with a shrug.

“Yeah, I mean I was fine when I asked and Ma told me how I should penetrate and where I need to stimulate a girl so I know what I’m doing when the time comes but like I don’t really need to know what to do with a guy. And I’m sorry that sounds so no homo Uncle A but---”

“Em, you gave you 16 year old son with raging hormones what sounds like actual good sex advice just because he asked?!” August sat forward on the couch and gave his sister a genuinely shocked look.

“Pretty much,” she answered with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders as she turned to wink at her son before giving her full attention back to the TV.

August turned his incredulous expression toward his nephew and asked, “Really??”

“Mmhmm. She gives good advice in that department.”

“Why thank you, son,” Emma responded with an arrogant smirk. 

“She did catch some shit from Mom though when her and Luce walked into the room in the middle of her answering me,” Henry stated casually.

“WHAT??” August who was just relaxing back into the couch immediately sat up and away from the back of the it again. “Gina walked in on you telling your son how to give it to a woman!?! Oh my God, Em!!” he managed to say through laughter.

“What’d I miss?” Grandpa Henry said as he walked back into the room. 

August was still laughing hysterically but somehow managed to get out, “Dad! You won’t believe what Emma did!! Actually it’s pretty much a her move.”

After August retold what he has just heard, the grandfather couldn’t help but to laugh at his blonde daughter too. “Mija, you are definitely one of a kind. That’s one of the many reasons why I love you. And am so glad you’re a part of nuestra familia.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too,” she said as she grinned and took a sip of her beer after raising it in her father’s direction. 

“So what’s going on in here?” Robin asked as he walked into the room.

“Oh, mijo was just telling me how Emma gave some pretty descriptive sex advice to young Henry here and then was caught by Gina right in the middle of it,” Grandpa Henry relayed with a chuckle. 

“What? I’m the fun mom. I know it, Gina knows it. I take my title very seriously,” Emma stated proudly.

“Ha! More like the irresponsible mom,” Robin quipped.

“Well that’s certainly the Emma that I know,” August said calmly as he finally sat back into the couch to continue watching the game. “You getting caught doing something dumb with your children and then getting in trouble with your more responsible wife. Sound about right.”

“Well hey at least I’m giving the advice to my own kid. And it’s not being outsourced like your husband is currently doing with Ro,” Emma stated in jest.

“Wait, what now??” Robin said just as he was about to take a seat. “What do you mean by that?” he asked as he stood up straight and looked around the room for an answer.

Everyone else looked at Henry. 

“So...I left Uncle Jeff’s old room and playing a video game with him and Ro when Ro asked him for advice on how to...let’s say ‘please’ a man,” Henry said with a wince at his other uncle.

“Come again?” Robin asked before he could stop himself. 

“Okay, I didn’t really hear much of it. But from what I caught before I left the room, Ro wanted to know the specifics of how to go down on a dude. Since he’d only given handjobs before--”

“Nope! I guess it’s back into the kitchen with the ladies then. I do not at all need to hear anything about my son’s sex life,” Robin stated as he made a quick exit from the room.

“Uncle Rob wait!” Henry called as she jumped out of his chair with a devilish smile and trotted after his uncle. “I forgot to tell you that the guy Ro is seeing is named Rob too.”

Henry decided to stay in the kitchen and hang out there until dinner with ready. After he tired of torturing his uncle on his way there, he made his way over to the island where his sister and older cousin, Robyn, were unbelievably somehow having a discussion mostly revolving around Robyn’s recent intimate time with a girl she’d met in her dorm.

“Okay so she doesn’t live in the dorms? Does she even go to your school?” Lucy was asking her cousin. 

“Yes. I’m pretty sure, Luce, because that’s how I met her. She was doing a project or something with my roommate who forgot that she had like a really important meeting or something that she had to get to so she just left her there.”

“What? That’s dumb. So she just sat in some random dorm room waiting for her to get back? Why didn’t they just meet up later somewhere else?” 

“That’s the thing, Luce. Their project thingy was due first thing in the morning and they hadn’t even really started it yet. Anyway, it all worked out for me because this girl was not just hot, but like smokin.’ No kidding probably one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen.”

“Alright so how’d you go from getting back to your room and finding a random super hot girl there to getting her into your bed??” Lucy asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh, hey bro. How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long. But I have to hear more of this,” he stated as he took a seat at the island and officially joined them.

“Then stop interrupting me,” Robyn chastised with a grin that gave her away. Henry smiled right back at her. “So after I asked her why she was there, I did the gentlewomanly thing and asked her if she wanted something to drink. She said yes and I went to get her something from our mini fridge.” Robyn then looked around and when she noticed how close her mother was standing to the island she leaned in toward her cousins and lowered her voice to a near whisper. They immediately leaned in closer to her to better hear the rest of her tale. “Well I got a water out for her and when I turned around I’m not kidding, you guys, she was standing like inches away from me. And she smelled so good. Then she grabbed the water bottle, said thank you, and leaned in to kiss me.”

“What’d you do?” Henry asked breathlessly.

“What do think, dummy??” Robyn hissed. “I kissed her back.”

“Dude do you really not know where this story is going right now?” Lucy asked quietly with an eye roll.

“So yeah we kind of just made out on my bed for awhile until one thing led to another. And let me tell you she knew exactly what she was doing. Probably the best I’ve had yet,” Robyn said as she exhaled heavily thinking about their time together. 

“I may not be bi right now but you and this girl sounds so hot!” Lucy exclaimed louder than she meant to.

“Yeah, it definitely was,” Robyn said in her normal voice. “And let me tell you this girl’s body was like--”

“Hey show some respect! We don’t objectify women in this family, young lady!!” Zelena asserted in her daughter’s direction.

“Oh my God, Mom! You’re probably never even gonna meet her. So I don’t see what the big deal is,” Robyn retorted.

“Well that’s just great! We send to school to study. And learn. And expand your mind. Not to---,” she waved her hand around errantly in the air. “Do you even know this hot girl’s name, Robyn??”

“Yeah, Mom. It was-- oh my God,” she said softly as she turned away from her mother and faced her cousins again. “Selena.”

“Wait, what?!” Henry and Lucy said in unison before they started laughing uncontrollably.

“Honey, did you say Selena?” Robin chirped up suddenly from beside his wife. “What are the odds?” he asked incredulously as he walked away to the other side of the kitchen.

“What’s happening?” Cora asked as she pushed the turkey back in to the oven and closed it. “What did we miss?”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal with her name being Selena?” Regina asked, turning away from the side dish she was working on.

“Mom, really?? You have like 3 degrees!” Henry got out around his continued laughter. “Oh wait, you guys don’t know what happened upstairs!”

“Huh? Well your sister wasn’t upstairs. So what is she laughing about?” Regina challenged.

“I was just laughing at Robyn’s face when she realized it,” Lucy said still trying to stifle her laughter and pointing at her cousin.

“Realized what though?” Cora asked, unable to keep the smile off her face at her grandchildren's mirth.

“You wanna take this one, Uncle Rob?” Henry inquired through his chuckles.

“I guess,” he answered, taking a much needed swig of his beer. “Even though I don’t really want to,” he stated with an eye roll. “Apparently one of Regina’s degree is not in Psychology,” he then mumbled to himself.

“Don’t really want to what, Robby??” Zelena asked frustratedly, stomping her foot in her husband’s direction.

“So when I went into the family room--”

“Yeah for all of two seconds,” Lucy interrupted.

“Luce, shhh,” Regina and Cora said together.

Robin continued, “I was informed by Henry that our son was upstairs getting sex advice from Jeff about this guy that he’s now with.”

“So, Ro plays for both teams now. Good for him!” Cora cheered.

“Mom!” Regina and Zelena both managed to shout in her direction.

“But seriously, what's the big deal?” Cora then asked.

“His name is Rob,” Robin stated dejectedly, hanging his head and looking down at the floor.

It took a moment for this to sink in with everyone else but as soon as it did they all began laughing hysterically. 

“What are you laughing at? They’re your daughter and son,” Robin stated seriously.

“How is this not hilarious?! Please don’t tell me she was a redhead,” Zelena said toward her daughter.

“Well… I’d say more like auburn?”

“What’s going on in here?” Emma asked with a smile as she jogged into the room with August close behind her.

“Yeah, we heard you laughing all the way from the family room. Dad wants to know what’s so funny,” August added, also smiling.

“I’ll go tell him,” Robin said as he stalked out of the room with a grimace.

“What’s up with him?” Emma asked as she made her way over to her wife and put her arms lovingly around her waist.

“Nothing. He’s just living through a little oedipal situation,” Regina replied as she instinctively put her arms around her wife’s neck.

Lucy had just finished whispering something to Robyn which caused her to laugh and say in Henry’s direction, “Hey cuz, I can give you some more tips if you want,” as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“You will not!” Zelena declared. “Not in my presence at least.”

“Mom, how did you even know what I was talking about it?”

“Really?? How could I not after everything that’s just happened?” she replied incredulously.

Henry waited for his aunt to turn her back to them before he gave a small nod to his cousin in a silent agreement to talk later before he announced, “So I would like to let everyone in here know that the only conversations I’ve had with my family today in this house have involved sex. Just...putting that out there.”

“Mijo, you’ve been a part of this family for over twelve years now. That should not come as any sort of surprise to you,” Regina stated while staring lovingly into Emma’s eyes and going in to kiss her.

“Oh no, don’t you two start that now! Dinner is almost ready. And no tours of Regina’s old room will be happening before then,” Cora declared with a grin as she took a dish out of the oven before turning it off.

“Well at least we wouldn’t have to hear it this time,” Lucy said to herself, but not nearly as quietly as she thought she did.

“What does that mean??” Zelena exclaimed.

Henry groaned and put his head down dramatically on the island.

“Now that I’d be happy to explain!” Robin announced as he walked back into the room with a huge smile and one finger pointing in the air in victory. 

After a little while Grandpa Henry, Roland, Jefferson, and Jenny joined the rest of their family in the kitchen. The five year old had just gotten up from her nap and was therefore still clinging to her father as he held her in his arms and she rested her head against his chest. Jefferson was loving every second of it. 

August went over to his husband and daughter as soon as they entered the room. “Aw, sweetheart did Daddy let you sleep too long while he was playing his silly video games with Ro?” he asked as he lovingly rubbed his daughter's back.

“Actually Auggie, she’s fine,” Jefferson answered his husband with a loving smile.

“Yeah, Uncle A, we weren’t even playing for that long. And she got up herself and came to find us.”

“Can I assume that you were done giving your nephew advice that--ahem--advice?” August asked.

Both men suddenly looked up at him with shocked and embarrassed expressions.

“Wha—?” Roland barely got out.

Jefferson recover quickly though. “Well, I figured it was cool because how would Robin have been able to give that kind of advice. Actually now that I think about it I guess Z would be the one he would have to go to and how awkward would that have been. Right?”

“Probably okay, knowing my mom,” Roland answered.  
“Yeah not too bad actually now that I’m thinking about it,” Zelena said almost simultaneously

“Mmkay. So where did you put our daughter down for her nap then?” August inquired.

“Jenny was sleeping in Gina’s old room,” Jefferson replied easily.

“Haha! It’s a good thing Abuela stopped Aunt Emma and Gina from going into her old room,” Robyn commented.

“Yeah, I guess that wouldn’t have worked out for us then,” Emma whispered seductively to Regina who couldn’t help laughing and then receiving curious and confused looks from the rest of her family.

Regina cleared her throat. “Anyway Mom it’s time to go into the dining room, right? Everything's ready now?”

“Yes, dear,” Cora answered with a smirk. She walked over to her son and gently took her granddaughter out of his arms without asking, giving her a kiss on her forehead, and then walked back towards the oven. “Okay, everyone under the age of 25 you know where all of the appropriate holiday dinnerware and silverware are. Go and set everything up,” she ordered. “And everyone else can grab a dish after you give them a couple of minutes to set the table. Everyone except for my youngest grandbaby here because she looks like she is barely awake. I don’t know how I’m going to hold you and get this turkey to the table, baby girl,” Cora commented as she bent down with her granddaughter in her arms and opened the oven.

“I’ll take her, Mom!” Emma said emphatically as she quickly swooped in to take Jenny out of Cora’s arm and into hers. “Hey there, JM, who’s your favorite auntie huh?” she asked the young girl as she bounced her up and down lightly on her hip.

Still in her shy and sleepy mode, Jenny didn’t answer her aunt. She just gave her a small smile and rested her head on her shoulder. 

“Em, why can’t you just call her Jenny like everyone else?” Jefferson asked as he did as ordered, grabbed a dish, and followed his sister and daughter into the dining room. 

“Because giving people nicknames is her thing,” August answered for her. “You’re the one that gave her the middle name Morgan, babe. What I still can’t get over is how she looks like a carbon copy of you at the age, Em. It never ceases to amaze me. Every time you hold her I see it even more.”

By the time all of the parents had made their way into the dining room to the set table, everyone easily chose their seats and waited for Cora to bring in the last part; the turkey, to which she received dramatic oohs and aahs from her family as she placed it down on the table.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Emma asked as she looked down at a fidgety Jenny in her lap. 

“Quiero abuelo,” she said as she reached across the table toward her grandfather.

“Awwww! When did she start doing that you two?” Regina asked in awe.

“Oh just recently,” August answered.

“Yeah I think the first time she did it we were--”

“Excuse me!? Are you really passing a child over all of this food that I’ve been working on since this morning??” Cora demanded with a raised eyebrow.

“Lo siento, mi amor,” Grandpa Henry chuckled. “It just seemed like the best way to do it. And hey, she’s not wearing any shoes for anything to fall into the food,” he continued with a shrug.

“Mom, it’s cool. We got it. She’s really light. And I didn’t feel like walking all the way around the table when I could just as easily pass her across to Dad. Or...my bad?” she said as she winced and looked away from Cora, but was met with the same disappointed yet angry glare from Regina.

Henry couldn’t help but to nudge his sister next to him. “Look. Ma’s in trouble again,” he said quietly with a chuckle.

Lucy immediately looked down the table to see what her brother was talking about and couldn’t help but notice that her mother and grandmother currently had the exact same expressions on their faces. “OH, look bro, that’s where Mom gets her glare from,” she responded back, chuckling. 

Somehow the Mills mother and daughter held their look on Emma and released it at the same exact moment. “And just for that, you get to say grace this year,” Cora stated.

“Alright, I got this,” Emma responded arrogantly, rolling her shoulders and causing everyone but Cora and Regina to stifle a giggle. 

Everyone joined hands, closed their eyes and bowed their heads. “I’d like to give thanks to this wonderful family that I so love being a part of. Even when my obviously amazing parenting skills are repeatedly questioned. But then praised. For having us all here together because we can’t all always still make it back to Sunday dinners. Probably mostly because we’re caught up trying to get it on with some new dude in our life or trying to catch the name of some really hot chick who we just happen to do it with in our dorm room. But mostly I’d like to give thanks for the fact that my gorgeously beautiful wife hasn’t murdered my children while teaching them how to drive and for the fact that our family can so openly talk about sex to the point where our discussions can include sex tips given from one generation to the next. Amen!” she finished to a chorus of barely held back “Emma!s and Really?!”

She then stood among the ruckus and grabbed the utensils to cut the turkey with a huge smile on her face as she asked, “Dad, you’re a little busy with JM in your lap. You want me to get this?”

All Cora could do was shake her head, trying to contain her smile, as everyone else laughed at Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regina said: *Young lady, who do you think you are talking to in that tone?


	5. Uniforms, Homework and Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been reading a lot of Swan Queen lately and it's inspired me to add to this little story. Hope you enjoy :)

“Mom, what’s the cheat code for this part again?” Henry asked as he concentrated hard on the tv screen and tried to beat his mother at the video game they were playing together.

“Why don’t I show you, mijo?” Regina responded as she executed a move that ended the round much to her son’s dismay.

“Mooooomm!” Henry whined as he dropped his head in frustration and defeat.

“What?” she chuckled. “You asked me for it and I gave it to you.”

“Hey kid, I’m the one you ask for the cheat code because I’ll let you use it on me after I give it to you. You know your mom’s way too competitive for that,” Emma chuckled as she walked into the living room and greeted her family. 

“Man, I'm done. My ride’s here anyway,” Henry said as he looked back up after checking his buzzing phone. “Nick’s here to pick me up.” He stood up and put his phone in his back pocket after giving his brunette mother a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey, Ma. Bye, Ma,” he said with a grin as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door past his confused-looking blonde mother. 

“Wow, that was such an awesome and loving greeting!” Emma called out sarcastically as she watched her son go out the door. She turned back to her wife and smiled as she saw her trying to now play the 2 person game by herself and failing to do so. “Babe I think you may need another player there,” she said with a grin as she waited for her wife to officially acknowledge her presence.

“Oh hello, dear. I didn’t hear you come in,” Regina finally responded.

“So I take it you didn’t hear that fascinating semi conversation that I had with Henry just now before he barely acknowledged my presence and scurried out the door?”

“Well, it was hardly a scurry, my love. I’m pretty sure he ran out as soon as he got that text he’d been waiting for,” Regina said as she put down her controller and stood to turn and look at her wife. As soon as she realized what Emma was wearing, her eyes went dark. “Why are you wearing your uniform?” she asked, unable to physically keep the husk out of her voice.

“Oh, babe I told you I had that official Rookie welcoming thing for our squad today. Oh and Doc retired too. So Cavanaugh made it all official like and we had to wear these today. I didn’t feel like bringing a change of clothes so I just wore my uniform home,” Emma answered innocently.

“Come here. Right now,” Regina demanded huskily, pointing down to a spot on the floor right in front of her. 

Emma immediately complied and walked around the couch to meet her wife. As soon as she was within arm’s length, Regina grabbed Emma’s tie and pulled her to her so forcefully that Emma almost lost her balance. Before Emma could even think about having to catch herself, Regina’s lips were on her hungrily kissing her with one arm around her shoulders and the other still gripping the tie. 

“Well hello to you too, my beautiful wife,” Emma said as she pulled back a little from the sudden and aggressive embrace. She grinned widely at her wife as she put her arms loosely around her lower back.

“Uh uh. That’s not what this is,” Regina stated with a wolf-like grin in return. “You’re going to pleasure me because as soon as I saw you in that uniform my underwear got soaked. And you need to rectify that. Immediately.”

“By looking so hot in this uniform?” Emma responded, rocking them gently from side to side with a now confident grin.

Regina chose not to respond with any words. Instead she walked right out of Emma’s embrace and pulled her behind her by her tie as she made her way over to the couch. In one swift motion, she turned around and sat down also pulling Emma down to her knees in front of her. She opened her legs widely and pulled Emma’s face down in between her legs and up against her underwear. “I know you can smell what you’ve done to me. Do something about it. Right. Now,” she growled. 

Emma didn’t hesitate to quickly slide off her wife’s underwear and push her skirt up higher so that she would have better access to her. With a second thought, she asked Regina to sit up a little so that she could put the underwear on the couch as a buffer because she knew that what she was about to do to her could probably end up staining the couch.

“No,” Regina said simply yet emphatically. Her tone told Emma that she would have almost no control in this sexual encounter. “Take off your jacket, detective,” she hissed down to Emma. “You can have it dry cleaned later. And we both know the small amount of material that my underwear would offer is not going to be enough if you do what you’re supposed to do. Detective.”

Emma almost came in her pants at that. Her wife was almost too sexy and dominant right now for her to be able to maintain any sort of cool. “Yes, ma’am,” she squeaked out as she quickly took off her jacket and put it under Regina. 

As soon as she had done that Regina grabbed her tie again and somehow managed to get Emma’s mouth right where she needed her and wanted her the most in that moment. Emma started licking her apex aggressively to which Regina immediately cried out, "FUCK!!! YEAH, RIGHT THERE!! OH MY GOD!!!!”

Emma then suddenly stopped and looked up questioningly at Regina who pulled her head up from the back of the couch and asked her why she had stopped. “Babe are we alone right now?? Where’s Luce?”

“Don’t worry. She’s at the library making up a shift that she missed last week. We’re all good,” she huffed out. “Now please, get back to work, detective.”

Emma quickly saluted Regina and did as she was told. She decided to go right for Regina’s clit this time and work on that exclusively until she was choked a little by her tie as a sign to stop. She looked at her already thoroughly fucked-looking wife with questioning eyes. 

“I want you to slow down, okay? Make this last for me, mi vida,” she panted as she loosened her grip on Emma's tie, took a deep breath and laid her head back on the couch.

Emma took the direction and slowly and languidly ran her tongue up and down the length of her wife, sometimes hitting her clit and sometimes not on purpose in order to drag out her pleasure. When Regina had finally had as much as she could take, as evidenced by her erratic breathing and her legs shaking uncontrollably she asked her wife to finish her off. “With pleasure,” Emma replied confidently as she dove back in. It took all of 10 seconds for Regina to fall over the edge screaming out her wife’s name. She bolted upright off of the couch and grabbed the back of Emma’s head as she climaxed. She then leaned forward tiredly resting her head on the top of her wife’s head and thanked her. 

“Well I kind of had no choice in the matter there, babe,” Emma chuckled.

“I can’t help it whenever you walk in here wearing that uniform. It just does things to me!”

“Understandable. I undoubtedly look even hotter in it than I am in just regular clothes,” Emma replied confidently.

“Okay, okay. Calm down there, dear. We’ve already established that years ago,” Regina said as she once again in one, fluid motion stood up bringing Emma with her and then swiftly turned them around before pushing Emma down roughly onto the couch. Before Emma could respond to what was happening, Regina quickly straddled her and pulled her tie closer to her to kiss her so passionately that Emma lost the ability to think for a minute. She instinctively put her hands on her wife’s ass and squeezed earning a delicious moan out of Regina. But was then surprised when Regina began to skillfully unbuckle her pants with one hand to which Emma did not at all try to interrupt. She really liked where this was going for her. 

Unbeknownst to them, their daughter had walked in the door right as Regina had climaxed. But as soon as she heard what she heard and quickly deduced what her mothers were doing on their couch, she ran up the stairs as briskly and quietly as her legs would carry her. And went right to her room, shut the door, again quietly, before she immediately texted her brother to tell him what she had just witnessed and to be wary when he came home that they might still be going at it. 

Regina had made quick work of getting into Emma’s pants and though the angle was a little awkward for her, Emma’s reactions to her motions were evidence enough that she was giving it to her wife correctly. “BABE RIGHT THERE!!! Oh my God, oh my God!!! Please don’t stop!! Don’t stop!” Emma whispered. She didn’t have the strength to do more. Until Regina added a third finger and rubbed her clit at the same time as she nibbled on Emma’s sweet spot right behind her earlobe. “SHIT BABE!!!! YES!!! YES!! YES! Oh yeah,” Emma breathed out after all of her muscles seized and she went over the edge. 

Regina pulled her fingers out and pulled Emma’s tie towards her so that her wife could clearly witness her licking her essence off of her fingers slowly one by one. Emma almost climaxed again just from seeing that. Instead she slowly loosened her tie and then surprised Regina by quickly taking it off. She caught her wife as she fell back a little after losing her grip and swiftly picked her up and put her on her back on the couch. Without any preamble she deftly slipped her fingers into her wife’s still soaked center and began to pump in and out as she simultaneously sucked on her pulse point. 

They were so busy with their next round of lovemaking that neither one of them heard or noticed as their son gently shut the front door and upon hearing one of his mother’s loud moaning immediately covered his ears as he sprinted up the steps as athletically and quietly as he could in order to get to his room.

Regina didn’t stop Emma from letting her come quickly the second time. She just enjoyed the short but immensely pleasurable ride that her wife had decided to take her on. She had no words for this climax. She just yelled out in ecstasy and held her wife closer as she rode her peak and slowly came back down from it. 

As Emma rolled off to the side of her wife to cuddle, Regina stated, “Mi vida, I really wish I had the energy right now to go again for you but you surprised me as much as you pleasured me that last time. How about I owe you one?” she whispered out. “Either we can take a shower or we can take a bath. But either way, it’s going to be all about you, dear. Trust me. That was some of the best climaxes I’ve had back-to-back in awhile,” she finished with a contented smile.

“Well they weren’t technically back-to-back but I get what you mean,” Emma replied.

“You’re such a smart ass sometimes,” Regina said as she lightly slapped Emma’s arm. 

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks, babe.”

They laid quietly in each other’s arms for a few minutes, listening to the only sound they could hear, the ticking of the clock above the fireplace. “So be honest with me, Em. Did you wear that uniform home on purpose today. Knowing the effect that it would have on me?” Regina asked as she looked down at her wife.

Emma laughed. “Babe, no. I honestly forgot my change of clothes here this morning when I left. I was rushing to get the kids out the door and--actually speaking of our kids. What time was Henry supposed to be back by?”

“Oh, dios mío!! Henry was already supposed to be back by now!”

“Oh no! Do you think they walked in on us again??”

“Why are you speaking in plural… oh mierda!! Luce probably got home some time ago too.”

“Wait...what?? Wait mierda means shit right?”

“Yes Emma!! But this is not the time to discuss that right now!”

“Well, I mean, it kind of is really…” 

“Hold on, sis, do you hear that?”

“Hear what? Be quiet, I can’t get into this episode of Ballers if you keep talking through it. I thought giving you some of my chocolate stash would shut you up. Obvi I was wrong about that,” Lucy responded as she turned her attention back to her tv screen.

Henry picked up the remote and turned the tv off before walking cautiously to put his ear against his sister’s door. “I don’t think I hear anything.”

So??”

“Well they usually don’t do that if they're, you know, doing it.”

“Good point. Let’s go see if they’re finally done.”

“Do we really wanna venture out there to find out for sure though?”

“Yes! You’re hungry and now I’m hungry and could use a snack too so let’s just go already!”

“Alright, alright! But you go first. I don’t want to accidentally walk in on anything.”

“Bro, you already did when you got home.”

“Yeah but you had given me the heads up so I already knew what I was walking in on.”  
“Wait, so wow. They kind of went at it for a while then. Because you got home like 20 minutes after me and they were still going strong?”

“I don’t know, Luce! I heard stuff going on when I came in so I just covered my ears and ran up the stairs!”

“Coward. You’re really telling me that you can’t recognize who’s who? You’re lying,” she said with a roll of her eyes as she started down the stairs.

“Dude, how are we even having this discussion right now though?? Can we just, you know, stop?”

“Don’t be such a wuss. Just tell me who do you think you heard when you came in?”

“Fine, it was Mom okay!” Henry didn’t realize that they had already reached the bottom of the stairs as he yelled his response at his sister.

Lucy started laughing hysterically as she tried to make her way over to the couch. Both of her mothers sat up to greet their children.

“Hey Ma, hey Mom,” she barely got out between her laughter.

“So…..you guys totally came home in the middle of us doing it didn’t you?” Emma asked.

“Yup,” they managed to respond in unison. 

“I almost texted you guys to see if you were done right after I texted Hen to let him know what was going on in here but I didn't want to interrupt,” Lucy stated with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Well a little heads up would’ve been nice, mija. Just so we didn’t further scar your brother,” Regina said, grinning and shaking her head.

“Hey, he’s a grown boy,” Lucy responded to her mother, finally done laughing.

“Anyway,” Henry said dramatically. “We actually came down because we wanted a snack since we're done our homework for the night.”

“Okay, then let’s go and get my babies something to snack on. That’s healthy, of course,” Regina said with a grin as she untangled herself from her wife and stood up.

“Ma, come on. I just said we were done our homework and everything can’t we have something that’s not gross as a reward?” Henry implored to his other mother.

“Hey, kid. Her house, her rules. I’m not getting involved in this one,” Emma responded.

“Okay,” Henry sighed as he followed his brunette mother and his sister into the kitchen.

“Mijo, when you say you finished your homework does that also include that long essay that you have due in your history class?” 

Emma chuckled as she listened to her son try to justify why he hadn’t even started that assignment yet as she sat up and took her phone out of her pocket.

She had to text Jane. *Told you it’d work ;)*

*Dude you’re SO LUCKY your lady falls hard for a woman in uniform! I’m a little jealous not gonna lie*

*It works EVERY TIME. It’s almost too easy! She pretty much jumped me as soon as she saw me. It was awesome!*

*Wait...did you guys get caught again…?? I’m assuming if she jumped you then you didn’t even make it upstairs…?*

*NOPE!! We got down right here on the couch. And apparently both of them came home during at some point and just went right up the stairs*

*first of all who says get down?? How old are you rn? And you guys got caught AGAIN?? But man, I wish we could have Riley and James trained like that. I’ve been wanting to break in our new dining room set so badly. Just bend Maura over and go to town but they always seem to be home when we are!*

*Dude tmi on that. And don’t they have like sports and stuff all the time*

*Yeah but they take the bus home from them most of the time and I can’t seem to get their schedules figured out. By the time I do it’s changing for the next sports season. Alright Swan tell everyone I said hi and I hope you successfully satisfied your woman ;)*

*Oh there’s never any doubts in that dept in this house*

*Oohhh...arrogant much?*

*HELLS YEAH!! See ya tom partner!*

“Em, do you still have that ice cream sundae recipe on your phone?” Regina called out from the kitchen. 

“Yeah! I’ll be right there, babe,” she responded as she got up and went to meet her family. As she walked in the room she tossed her phone at her wife who deftly caught it and went to open Safari as Emma joined their children at the island. But before Regina could get to the recipe her eyes sped read parts of the text messages between her wife and work partner. She couldn’t help but to grin as she scrolled down to quickly read the entire conversation. She then looked up and connected eyes with the blonde and grinned widely at her before she found the recipe and began to get out the needed ingredients.

“Is it gonna be...at Granny’s?!” Jane asked enthusiastically. 

“No, dude,” Emma sighed in annoyance. “And stop trying to get it out of me. You know Maur and Gina would kill me if I ruined the surprise, so just stop.”

“AHA!! So it is a surprise party then!”

“Jay, that’s not new information. That’s implied. Maura didn’t tell you a place or a time to be there so obviously it’s going to be a surprise party. Calm down, dude. We’re supposed to be working?”

“Yeah, yeah. This is killing me, Em! You know I love surprises usually and since Maur is so literal all of the time, I can usually get stuff out of her but she’s been SO GOOD at keeping this from me this time!”

“Well it’s a big one, Jay. She just wants to do right by you and celebrate it with all of your family and friends.”

Jane pretty much ignored her and kept talking to herself. “I mean I’ve tried EVERYTHING, Swan. And I do mean everything. I did this one thing that I’ve been holding out on in bed the other night. Not to get to much into the details but there was lube and---”

“Jane! You’ve already gone too far, dude. Save it for Gina and Rubes. Please and thank you.”

“Anyway. I couldn’t even get anything out of her after that. I mean, she was kind of on the verge of passing out but usually that’s when my Maura’s the most loose-lipped. It’s how she told me about wanting to do that thing I did to her in the first place.” 

“Okay, I can see that you’re not going to let this go anytime soon so I’ll just let you talk it out for yourself and see if you can get anywhere with that. Oh, hey remind me to stop by that dry cleaners that’s near the precinct on our way back,” Emma stated nonchalantly as she looked through her binoculars trying to spot their suspect.

“When do you ever-- Wait, you still haven’t washed your coat from your and Gina’s sexy times after we celebrated Doc’s retirement? That’s gross, dude. Like keeping the cum-stained dress after you fucked the president kind of nasty. But, hey, who’s judging?”

“Who makes Monica Lewinsky and Clinton references anymore? You are so obsessed with him, dude.” 

“No I’m not. I gotta say though Chelsea grew into quite the hottie,” Jane stated before taking a sip of her coffee.

Emma lowered her binoculars in order to give her partner a confused look. But decided not to engage with her last comment.

“What? She is,” Jane chuckled as she shrugged her shoulders. “Oh look, that’s her! Let’s go, Em.”

“How did you even see her from that far away,”

“I may be turning 40 but I’ve still got almost 20/20 vision.”

“Probably because you barely do any of your own paperwork anymore,” Emma mumbled as she got out of the car and fell in step beside Jane.

“I also have excellent hearing. And that’s what Barry’s for. Rooks have to pay their dues,” Jane stated as they continued to approach their suspect. “Hold up. Why is she going in there?”

“Well gee, Jay, I don’t know. Why don’t we do some detecting and follow her in there and find out?” Emma said with a grin.

“No seriously that’s a bar that’s been owned and operated by the Irish mob since pretty much before we were even born.”

“Oh shit. For reals?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay well then let’s call for backup. She’s gotta be up to something shady just by even going in there right?”

“Probably. And even if we don’t find anything else illegal going on we can still just arrest her.”

“Alright new plan then. And back to the car we go,” Emma stated as she did an about face and turned back in the direction of Jane’s car.

“Wait, where are you going, Swan? We can just call it in on our phones.”

“Nah. I don’t want Maura to kill me if I bring you home shot to your surprise party,” Emma stated before she stopped in her tracks after realizing what she had just done.

“HA! YES!!,” Jane whooped as she actually jumped in the air for joy.

“Shit! I stand corrected. Maura IS going to kill me now.”

“Hey man, it’s okay. Just tell her that I out-detectived you and you’ll be alright.”

“That’s not even a word, Jay!”

“I know. But you’re fucked,” Jane stated as she pointed at her partner and chuckled.

“Whatever. Maybe I can text Regina and let her know what I did so she can soften the blow from Maura for me,” Emma stated hopefully as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Doubt it!” Jane singsonged as she opened her door to get back into the car.

“Well at least we got a righteous bust out of following her into that bar,” Emma huffed as she and Jane made their way to the front door of Jane and Maura’s house.

“Uh huh. Say whatever you need to make yourself feel better, man,” Jane responded with a huge grin on her face.

“Jay, take that shit-eating grin OFF OF YOUR FACE and try to walk in there looking surprised, okay?? Do you think you could at least help me out by doing that please? Gina and Maur know that the surprise is ruined but you know Maur was too proud to tell everyone else.”

“Alright, I’ll play your game, Swan. How’s this?”

“That’s not quite right. You’re going to a party not a funeral.”

“Well look it is not at all my fault that you screwed up and ruined the surprise. Actually more like I thoroughly out-detectived you.”

“Will you please stop using that made up word?!”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Okay here we go. I promise to look surprised,” Jane said as she reached for the doorknob. “What the hell? Where is everybody??” she asked as she walked into her house and then turned to look back at her partner.

“What? What do you mean?” Emma asked as she stepped into the house and past her friend. “I have no idea. Let’s check the backyard, I guess.”

“Em, c’mon. There’s no way that the amount of people I’m guessing Maur would’ve invited is hiding that well in or outside of my house. Let’s just go back to your house and watch the game,” Jane said with a sigh.

“Alright. Sorry, man. Yeah, let’s just go,” Emma replied.

“I’m really not looking forward to this game,” Jane stated in a sad tone. “I don’t even know why I watch anymore since we lost the G.O.A.T.”

“Who cares about Brady? Good luck in Tampa or whatever,” Emma said sarcastically. “That new kid’s got some real potential I think.”

“Can he bring us at least one more championship though??

“Jay, calm down. Haven’t we won enough? Give someone else a chance.”

Jane stopped walking and dramatically put her hand on Emma’s shoulder to stop her from continuing to walk too. “Did I just hear you correctly?? I have a partner. Who is not a lifelong Pats fan…??"

“AY DIOS MIO!! I don’t know who’s worse?? You or my dad. You guys know that teams can’t be great forever."

“They’re called dynasties for a reason, Swan!”

“Okay okay. Calm down. Well let’s go see if we can manage to win this one first before we can start to rebuild that dynasty huh?”

“I don’t even know why they put us on Monday Night anymore. It’s not like it’s going to be any sort of exciting. The Eagles are probably going to slaughter us!” Jane yelled as Emma opened the door and let her walk in ahead of her.

“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!”

Jane literally jumped backwards out the front door as she was greeted by most of the people that she knew and those that she had gotten to know since she and her wife had moved to Storybrooke to start their family. When she had finally recovered she walked back through the door with her hand over her heart and was first greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Mills.

“I don’t know about that Jay. I think we have a pretty good chance tonight. The Eagles’ top defensive back is out for the night and we all know they’re all about the defense!” Henry Mills stated excitedly as he walked up to Jane to give her a tight hug.

As soon as he released her, Cora somehow gave her an even tighter embrace and said, “It’s all about the coaching, dear. And my Eagles’ offense is nothing to underestimate,” she said as she let Jane go. “Happy 40th, Janie.”

“Thanks, Mayor Mills,” Jane replied shyly.

“I’ve told you a hundred times, dear, to call me Cora.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

“Let me make room for the woman of the hour,” Cora said as she stepped aside to let someone that Jane couldn’t see through.

“What do you mean? I’m standing right here in front of you,” Jane answered cheekily.

“Idiot, she means your wife,” Emma whispered into Jane’s ear as she pointed her partner in the direction of Maura walking towards them.

“Hi there, pretty girl,” Maura greeted her wife as she walked up to her and gave her a sweet yet long kiss.

Some people in the back that Emma couldn’t readily identify started whooping.

“Well that’s some greeting, Maur,” Jane said as she held her wife closely in her arms and looked down at her with loving eyes.

“I did have some help,” Maura responded as she leaned into her wife.

“Alright, well I’m going to go find my wife. Because that kiss just made me a little bit jealous,” Emma told the couple as she stepped around them to go farther into her house.

“So are guys actually going to get married anytime soon or…?” Jane smugly asked her friend, Ruby, as she took a swig of her beer.

“I know right?! Are you going to marry the woman that you almost ruined my wedding day for when you proposed to her there?” Emma chimed in with a devilish grin.

“Wow. Still holding that over my head I see. Look we’ve been saving up for it all these years, man. And life sort of got in the way. Now that I’m done all my training and I’m officially the owner and operator at Granny’s we finally have enough money to pay for it ourselves. You guys do know that Children’s Librarians don’t make that much right? Especially in small towns…?” Ruby replied.

“Whatever, Rubes, all I know is that since you somehow neglected to get me anything good for this momentous occasion, I will take the honor of being your Best Woman instead,” Jane said as she clinked her beer bottle with Ruby’s.

“Um, excuse me?? I’m standing RIGHT HERE!!” Emma chimed in. “I know it’s a big birthday and all for you, Jay, but it was established a good long while ago that I would be Ruby’s Best Woman. I’ve known her for way longer than you, dude.”

“What? That doesn’t mean anything. We’re clearly like the same person and we bonded almost immediately when we met. Right, Rubes? And you can just be Belle’s Maid of Honor, Em,” Jane stated confidently.

“Maid of---”

“I’m pretty sure Regina’s going to be my fiance’s MOH and look you guys can just be my co-Best Women. Right? Like we did for your wedding, Em.” Ruby jumped in.

“Okay, I guess,” Emma and Jane stated angrily at the same time.

“Wow, you guys are supposed to be partners in crime. Or law or whatever. And look at it this way, it’ll be way easier to share the load of the duties involved right. I mean, I’m a business owner now. I don’t want to have to worry about making any of the decisions that you’ll have to come to an agreement on anyway. Okay? Is that cool with you two or…?”

“What’s going on here?” Regina asked with a grin as she joined the group of friends. “Ruby, why do my wife and Jane look like they're about to get into fisticuffs? The last time I saw them staring each other down like this was when Jane wholeheartedly said that Wonder Woman was not that good.”

Emma broke the staring contest to grab her wife around the waist and pull her into her. “Babe,” she said in a whiny voice, “Jay’s trying to take my position of Best Woman from me for Rube’s and Belle’s wedding.”

“Oh, mi vida,” Regina said as she hugged her wife and rocked her gently. “Can’t you just be co-Best Women. I mean, I’m actually jealous that you two will get to share the load and I’ll have to do all of my Maid of Honor duties by myself.”

“Okay, good point, babe,” Emma responded in a childish tone.

Ruby threw her hands up in frustration and walked away from them muttering to herself, “Dude, what?? That’s EXACTLY what I just said.”

Jane could only laugh as she watched her defeated friend walk away. “Alright. I’ll agree to that then,” she said as she stuck her hand out for Emma to shake. Emma smiled and released one arm so she could accept it but barely let go of Regina in the process.

“So wait, what did you text Gina then?” Jane asked.

“That we were on our way to the decoy house. Oh but you looked so sad when you opened the door to an empty house though. I almost felt sorry for you and then I realized that you’re a jackass to me most of the time and you kind of deserved it.”

The party had finally wrapped up. Only the Swan-Mills family and Jane were left in the house. Regina made a bemused face as she watched her children walk into the living room with full plates of food to sit down on the floor near the coffee table and join the adults in watching tv. Her confusion at why her children had such full plates when they had eaten heartily during the party was overtaken by her anger with them for another reason. “What is this family’s obsession with eating full meals in my living room instead of in the kitchen or dining room where meals are supposed to be eaten?!” Regina asked after her children had gotten comfortable. 

“Bigger TV,” her family somehow answered simultaneously.

“Why does Aunt Jane get to have the remote?” Lucy asked.

“Luce. When you’ve reached my age you learn to take advantage of being a senior citizen as often as you can.”

“What are you talking about, Jay? You’re not even that old, dude. Gina and I are only a couple of years behind you.”

“Exactly!” Jane said with a grin as she finally settled on a program.

“I don’t get it,” Henry replied with an almost full mouth of food.

“Me either,” Regina said, giving Jane a sidelong glance. “Just...let her have this one, mijo.”

“Just be thankful that me being here right now is preventing Gina from killing you for eating in her precious living room, Hen,” Jane uttered while staring at the screen.

“And use a coaster, kid!” Emma tried unsuccessfully to whisper-warn her son.

“I’m literally right next to you, Em. I heard you. The only thing that’s keeping me from dragging our son out of the living room right now is that I’m very comfortable cuddled up next to you, mi vida, and I’m also thinking of the positions that we should use the next time we decide to make love on this couch,” Regina stated nonchalantly.

“Oh man!! I’m outta here!” Henry shouted as he dramatically grabbed his plate and cup and went back towards the kitchen.

“What about you, Luce?” Jane chuckled.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m way used to them doing that by now,” she stated confidently. “Is this that Naked and Afraid show?? I’ve somehow never seen this.”


End file.
